The Ruling on Raising One's Voice to One's Parents
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Question:
Sometimes I find myself shouting at my mother because of her many questions, and I answer her in a loud voice, saying "no" or "yes" loudly. However, I regret it deep in my heart, and I pray for her forgiveness, asking Allah to forgive me and her. I often ask for her pardon; I often ask for her pardon, and I ask Allah to forgive her and to forgive me. Please guide me on what I should do. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. As for what follows, the right of the parents is great. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, placed it after His own right in the remembrance. He, the Exalted, said:[An-Nisa 4:36], [Al-Isra 17:23]. In many verses of the Qur'an, Allah, Exalted and Majestic is He, mentions the right of the parents after His own right. And in His saying, Glorified and Exalted is He: "Then one of them, or both of them, will reach old age with you" [Al-Isra 17:23-24].
This indicates the greatness of the parents' right over the child, especially in the state of old age and their need for kindness. Kindness to the parents includes kindness in speech and kindness in action. Kindness in action includes spending on them, serving them, and providing them with any permissible things they need. Kindness in speech includes making their speech pleasant, greeting them, making du'a' for them, seeking forgiveness for them, and not raising one's voice at them. Raising one's voice at them is a form of ill-treatment toward them. Allah, the Exalted, said:[Al-Isra 17:23]. "Annoying" means raising the voice and scolding, as He, the Exalted, said: [Ad-Duhaa 93:9]. As for the rest, if one annoys his father, raises his voice at him, or scolds him out of irritation, boredom, or reprimand, this is considered undutifulness to parents. So, O questioner, you must repent to Allah for this action, which is raising your voice at your mother. You should soften your speech to her and make it gentle. Regarding what has already happened of raising your voice at her, you should ask her for forgiveness. And in the future, you must abandon this trait with your mother. Yes.
Sometimes I find myself shouting at my mother because of her many questions, and I answer her in a loud voice, saying "no" or "yes" loudly. However, I regret it deep in my heart, and I pray for her forgiveness, asking Allah to forgive me and her. I often ask for her pardon; I often ask for her pardon, and I ask Allah to forgive her and to forgive me. Please guide me on what I should do. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. As for what follows, the right of the parents is great. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, placed it after His own right in the remembrance. He, the Exalted, said:
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًاAnd your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاor both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (24) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًاThis indicates the greatness of the parents' right over the child, especially in the state of old age and their need for kindness. Kindness to the parents includes kindness in speech and kindness in action. Kindness in action includes spending on them, serving them, and providing them with any permissible things they need. Kindness in speech includes making their speech pleasant, greeting them, making du'a' for them, seeking forgiveness for them, and not raising one's voice at them. Raising one's voice at them is a form of ill-treatment toward them. Allah, the Exalted, said:
and do not repel them
وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَاSo as for the orphan, do not oppress [him].
فَأَمَّا الْيَتِيمَ فَلَا تَقْهَرْ
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، فتاة أحياناً تصرخ على والدتها عندما تسألها لكنها تندم وتدعو أن يسامحها الله فما توجيهكم لها؟ الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.