The Ruling on Fathers’ Actions in Preventing Their Daughters from Marriage

Question:
May Allah reward you with good and do you well. Returning to the beginning, regarding the woman’s job, Shaykh Salih. The woman’s job, as became clear from the first message, forced her to travel without a mahram. Also, the woman’s job led to her remaining a spinster and without a husband, so that the father could receive the full salary or the largest part of it. This is based on messages that reach this program, including the previous one and this message that I will read to you, Shaykh Salih. The owner of this message says: The listener, Fa’ayn Lam from the Noble City of Makkah, says: My problem is that my father behaves strangely toward me. I work as a teacher, and my father takes half the salary, and sometimes three-quarters of the salary, and prevents me from marriage on the pretext that he receives this salary monthly. After a period of time, he wants to marry me to a man I do not want to marry and do not desire. He threatens me by saying, “If you do not agree to marry this man, marriage will be forbidden for you after him.” And naturally, I do not want this man and do not want to live with him, even if I remain so forever. He forces me into that marriage for financial greed, and so that he can marry him to one of his wards, and for other interests that benefit him. So what is your guidance, O Honorable Shaykh? Knowing that my father often insults me with ugly words, holds a grudge against me, and prioritizes the interest of the sons over the interest of the daughters, and says, “You are of no use to us and we have no need of you except in marriage.” What is your opinion, O Honorable Shaykh? Should I leave that job, or what should I do? Knowing that I am very anxious and nervous, and I complain to Allah. So advise us and guide us, may Allah reward you with good. Knowing that this phenomenon is very widespread in our society.

Answer:
This father and others who do what he does are mistaken, and their action is an invalid action, and injustice and oppression against these daughters. It is obligatory upon them, by virtue of their care and guardianship over women, that if a suitor comes whose religion and trustworthiness they are pleased with, and the woman is pleased with him, they should hasten to marry her, because it is an opportunity that is lost. The woman’s true job and her true benefit in life is obtaining a righteous husband and good offspring. Her true, beneficial job is attending to the affairs of the house and raising the children, and that is sufficient as a noble and good job for her first and for the society second. So it is obligatory upon these fathers to fear Allah, not to oppress their daughters, and not to deprive them of the opportunity of marriage to righteous, capable men for the sake of greed for their salaries. For this results in harms for these girls, the loss of their lives, and the missing of the opportunity of marriage. And this may cause her to be prevented from marriage forever, so the father becomes an oppressor, a wrongdoer, and a traitor to the trust that Allah placed upon him. And perhaps this will lead to what is not praiseworthy in its consequences, such as falling into immorality and the loss of morals, as is happening in some, in many countries that do not care about marrying women.
The result is that it is upon the fathers to fear Allah, and upon the awliya (guardians) of women, whether they are fathers or others, to fear Allah, whether they are fathers or others, to fear Allah in their wards, and to marry them whenever a good opportunity arises for it. And this is better for them than jobs, no matter how high the jobs are. For the woman’s true job is obtaining a righteous, capable husband, and obtaining good offspring, and her protection in her home, and the preservation of her dignity. Yes.

The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good, and may Allah reward you.