The ruling on a son refusing a marriage his mother imposed on him
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Question:
He says that his mother insisted on his marrying his maternal aunt’s daughter, and at that time his desire for the proposed bride was low. He began consulting others, and among those he consulted was his brother, but his brother also cut off contact with him when he expressed that desire. He asks whether his refusal of that proposed bride constitutes undutifulness to his mother, or not? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Marriage must be based on the desire of both parties, such that the husband desires the wife and the wife desires the husband. No one has the right to force a person to marry a woman he does not desire, whether it is the father or anyone else, because that prevents the intended purpose from being achieved. If a man marries a woman he does not desire, or a woman marries a man she does not desire, the desired purpose of marriage may not be realized, which is harmony, agreement, and the objectives of marriage. Therefore, this mother should relinquish this compulsion and leave the choice to her son, unless he wants to marry someone who is not suitable for him in terms of her religion, in which case she has the right to refuse and the right to prevent it. However, as long as he wants a woman who is righteous in her religion and character, and she wants to force him to marry another woman he does not want, he is not required to obey her in this matter. But he should try to convince his mother and discuss it with her gently and kindly. I do not think she will object if she sees from her son a firm insistence on not desiring this proposed girl, because a father’s obedience is sought only for what is good for his child. Yes, yes. And a father’s affection does not allow him to force his son to do something he does not want.
He says that his mother insisted on his marrying his maternal aunt’s daughter, and at that time his desire for the proposed bride was low. He began consulting others, and among those he consulted was his brother, but his brother also cut off contact with him when he expressed that desire. He asks whether his refusal of that proposed bride constitutes undutifulness to his mother, or not? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Marriage must be based on the desire of both parties, such that the husband desires the wife and the wife desires the husband. No one has the right to force a person to marry a woman he does not desire, whether it is the father or anyone else, because that prevents the intended purpose from being achieved. If a man marries a woman he does not desire, or a woman marries a man she does not desire, the desired purpose of marriage may not be realized, which is harmony, agreement, and the objectives of marriage. Therefore, this mother should relinquish this compulsion and leave the choice to her son, unless he wants to marry someone who is not suitable for him in terms of her religion, in which case she has the right to refuse and the right to prevent it. However, as long as he wants a woman who is righteous in her religion and character, and she wants to force him to marry another woman he does not want, he is not required to obey her in this matter. But he should try to convince his mother and discuss it with her gently and kindly. I do not think she will object if she sees from her son a firm insistence on not desiring this proposed girl, because a father’s obedience is sought only for what is good for his child. Yes, yes. And a father’s affection does not allow him to force his son to do something he does not want.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، أمٌ تريد ابنها أن يتزوج ابنة خالته، وهو لا يريدها، فهل يكون في هذا عاق لوالدته؟ صالح الفوزان؟ — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.