His mother asks him to help his siblings with money, and their financial situation is comfortable, so is it obligatory for him to do so?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
He asks and says: My mother pressures me beyond my capacity, specifically by making me help my brothers, sisters, and their children. They are all in a good situation, and I am not neglecting them. She says, "I am not pleased with you if you do not help your sisters." They are married, have children, their husbands are present and capable of working, and their situation is comfortable, praise be to Allah. My father is married and has children, and I provide for all of them. I am also married and have children, and I want to raise them. Please advise me in this matter and regarding what my mother says. Do I have a sin on my account? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. As for what follows, there is no doubt that the parents have a right and the relatives have a right. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, commanded giving every right its due. He, the Exalted, said:[An-Nisa 4:36] to the end of the verse.
What the questioner mentioned, that his mother orders him to give to his sisters and relatives, is enjoining good, but he must carry out what he is able to do.
Because of His saying, the Exalted:[At-Taghabun 64:16] So he must carry out of that what he is able to, starting with the closest, then the next closest. There is no doubt that the children are more deserving than others, so he should meet their needs. If he has something left over, let him bestow it upon his relatives according to his ability. By doing so, the intended goal is achieved, with Allah's permission, and the mother is pleased. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good. Perhaps the mother's ambition is great, such that she hopes her daughters will be in a certain state, while he has specific obligations. So what is the Shaykh's guidance? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
As we mentioned, he must fear Allah to the extent of his ability, start with those he supports, and convince his mother by explaining his situation to her. Yes, and he should also explain that his sisters and their husbands are not in dire need of what he has. If he explains it to her and clarifies it, perhaps she will be convinced by that. Otherwise, he does what he is able to.[Al-Baqarah 2:286] Praise be to Allah. Yes.
The presenter:
So what is the limit for the father in this case, if you please?
The Shaykh:
Likewise, dutifulness to the mother is according to one's ability. If he is dutiful to her according to what he can, and pleases her according to what he can, and that is done in a good manner, then this is the obligatory. Dutifulness is achieved even through gentle speech, kind words, and being soft with her.
He asks and says: My mother pressures me beyond my capacity, specifically by making me help my brothers, sisters, and their children. They are all in a good situation, and I am not neglecting them. She says, "I am not pleased with you if you do not help your sisters." They are married, have children, their husbands are present and capable of working, and their situation is comfortable, praise be to Allah. My father is married and has children, and I provide for all of them. I am also married and have children, and I want to raise them. Please advise me in this matter and regarding what my mother says. Do I have a sin on my account? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. As for what follows, there is no doubt that the parents have a right and the relatives have a right. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, commanded giving every right its due. He, the Exalted, said:
and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy
وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْيَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينِWhat the questioner mentioned, that his mother orders him to give to his sisters and relatives, is enjoining good, but he must carry out what he is able to do.
Because of His saying, the Exalted:
So fear Allah as much as you are able
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُمْThe presenter:
May Allah reward you with good. Perhaps the mother's ambition is great, such that she hopes her daughters will be in a certain state, while he has specific obligations. So what is the Shaykh's guidance? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
As we mentioned, he must fear Allah to the extent of his ability, start with those he supports, and convince his mother by explaining his situation to her. Yes, and he should also explain that his sisters and their husbands are not in dire need of what he has. If he explains it to her and clarifies it, perhaps she will be convinced by that. Otherwise, he does what he is able to.
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity
لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَاThe presenter:
So what is the limit for the father in this case, if you please?
The Shaykh:
Likewise, dutifulness to the mother is according to one's ability. If he is dutiful to her according to what he can, and pleases her according to what he can, and that is done in a good manner, then this is the obligatory. Dutifulness is achieved even through gentle speech, kind words, and being soft with her.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، تطلب منه أمه أن يساعد إخوته بالمال، وحالتهم ميسورة، فهل يجب عليه ذلك؟ الشيخ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.