Does the husband's mother have the right to control her son's wife?
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The questioner : This sister who is asking says: Does the husband's mother have the right to control her son's wife? There are many questions on this topic, and perhaps you could give some guidance to mothers, to wives, and to the family?
The Shaykh : The husband's mother has no right over her son's wife to make her serve her, for example, or to run her errands at the market or the like, because the right belongs to the husband, not to his mother. However, as a matter of kindness, good character, and seeking the affection of the husband and his mother, and out of love for the family, the wife should run her mother-in-law's errands to the best of her ability, so that there is no discord in the family or between the husband and his wife. It is not permissible for the husband's mother to be harsh with her son's wife; rather, she should accommodate her and treat her with kindness. I advise mothers of husbands who make their sons' wives work for their personal needs that this is injustice. It is well known that no one is pleased to be an oppressor to a person who will demand their rights from them on the Day of Resurrection.
So I say to the husband's mother: What if the situation were reversed, and you were the wife of a woman's son, and she forced you to do things you do not want to do, which are not obligatory upon you? Would you be pleased with that? She would certainly not be pleased with that for herself. So how can she be pleased with it for other people's daughters? So the conclusion is that the husband's mother has no right over her son's wife to use her or make her run her errands or the like. Honorable Shaykh. And regarding not having enmity, we see that the son's wife should treat her mother-in-law with kindness.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good, Honorable Shaykh. You will hear the answer, if Allah wills, on Tuesday at four in the afternoon. Thank you.
The Shaykh : To you.
The presenter : If you please, for example, could you give me an order, for example, that harms my daughter? Do I know if I do not do what you want?
The Shaykh : The Shaykh answered this, and if Allah wills, you will hear it on Tuesday.
The presenter : Thank you.
The Shaykh : Thank you. There is a call, please go ahead.
The Shaykh : The husband's mother has no right over her son's wife to make her serve her, for example, or to run her errands at the market or the like, because the right belongs to the husband, not to his mother. However, as a matter of kindness, good character, and seeking the affection of the husband and his mother, and out of love for the family, the wife should run her mother-in-law's errands to the best of her ability, so that there is no discord in the family or between the husband and his wife. It is not permissible for the husband's mother to be harsh with her son's wife; rather, she should accommodate her and treat her with kindness. I advise mothers of husbands who make their sons' wives work for their personal needs that this is injustice. It is well known that no one is pleased to be an oppressor to a person who will demand their rights from them on the Day of Resurrection.
So I say to the husband's mother: What if the situation were reversed, and you were the wife of a woman's son, and she forced you to do things you do not want to do, which are not obligatory upon you? Would you be pleased with that? She would certainly not be pleased with that for herself. So how can she be pleased with it for other people's daughters? So the conclusion is that the husband's mother has no right over her son's wife to use her or make her run her errands or the like. Honorable Shaykh. And regarding not having enmity, we see that the son's wife should treat her mother-in-law with kindness.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good, Honorable Shaykh. You will hear the answer, if Allah wills, on Tuesday at four in the afternoon. Thank you.
The Shaykh : To you.
The presenter : If you please, for example, could you give me an order, for example, that harms my daughter? Do I know if I do not do what you want?
The Shaykh : The Shaykh answered this, and if Allah wills, you will hear it on Tuesday.
The presenter : Thank you.
The Shaykh : Thank you. There is a call, please go ahead.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، 2582- هل لأم الزوج ان تتحكم بزوجة ابنها/سؤال على الهاتف 📞 /ابن عثيمين — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.