The ruling on a son advising his father to be just between his wives
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The questioner : Honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : A person’s father has fallen into a violation of the Shari'ah, which is preferring one of his wives over the other, in ways of preference that are not hidden from your eminence. This has caused harm and injury to one of his wives. When his son admonished him for the sake of Allah, reminding him of Allah and of the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) with gentleness, in the best manner, and with kind words, this father became extremely angry with him. When the son tried to appease his father, fearing that he might fall into undutifulness, the father was not pleased except with harshness, quarreling, and dissatisfaction. The son repeated his attempts to appease him more than once, but to no avail. So, Honorable Shaykh, is this son considered undutiful and one who severs his family ties, or what? And what is he required to do? Please inform us. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Before I answer the question, I offer advice to this father, if what was said about him is true, that he should fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic). It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) Indeed, the one who is unjust between his wives should expect this warning: that he will come on the Day of Resurrection, on that witnessed day, with one side of his body tilted. We ask Allah for safety from that. So he should fear Allah the Exalted as much as he can, and be just between the women as much as he can. It is not permissible for him to prefer one over the other in a way that he is able to balance.
As for the son and his advising his father, I say, may Allah reward him with good. This, by Allah, is dutifulness: that he advises his father about something that harms him, and clarifies to him the Shari'ah of Allah in the matter. He is considered, by this, one of the most dutiful of the dutiful. And let this son not forget that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) advised his father. His father even threatened him and said:[Maryam 19:46]. And yet, this did not prevent him from advising his father. Until his father declared that he would remain in disbelief, and may Allah protect us from that. And at that time, [At-Tawbah 9:114].
So I say, O noble son, your advising your father is among the greatest forms of dutifulness to him. And if he becomes angry and severs ties with you for this, then the sin is upon him, and you have the reward. Strive to be dutiful to him as much as you can, but at the same time, do not be negligent in the right of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) by advising him and guiding him.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : A person’s father has fallen into a violation of the Shari'ah, which is preferring one of his wives over the other, in ways of preference that are not hidden from your eminence. This has caused harm and injury to one of his wives. When his son admonished him for the sake of Allah, reminding him of Allah and of the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) with gentleness, in the best manner, and with kind words, this father became extremely angry with him. When the son tried to appease his father, fearing that he might fall into undutifulness, the father was not pleased except with harshness, quarreling, and dissatisfaction. The son repeated his attempts to appease him more than once, but to no avail. So, Honorable Shaykh, is this son considered undutiful and one who severs his family ties, or what? And what is he required to do? Please inform us. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Before I answer the question, I offer advice to this father, if what was said about him is true, that he should fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic). It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه مَنْ كَانَتْ لَهُ امْرَأَتَانِ فَمَالَ إِلَى إِحْدَاهُمَا جَاءَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَشِقُّهُ مَائِلٌ،As for the son and his advising his father, I say, may Allah reward him with good. This, by Allah, is dutifulness: that he advises his father about something that harms him, and clarifies to him the Shari'ah of Allah in the matter. He is considered, by this, one of the most dutiful of the dutiful. And let this son not forget that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) advised his father. His father even threatened him and said:
If you do not desist, I will surely stone you
لَئِن لَّمْ تَنتَهِ لَأَرْجُمَنَّكَwhen it became apparent to Abraham that his father was an enemy to Allah, he disassociated himself from him
تَبَيَّنَ لَهُ أَنَّهُ عَدُوٌّ لِّلَّهِ تَبَرَّأَ مِنْهُSo I say, O noble son, your advising your father is among the greatest forms of dutifulness to him. And if he becomes angry and severs ties with you for this, then the sin is upon him, and you have the reward. Strive to be dutiful to him as much as you can, but at the same time, do not be negligent in the right of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) by advising him and guiding him.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، 2628- وعظ ابيه ونصحه فغضب عليه هل يكون الولد عاقاً/سؤال على الهاتف 📞 /ابن عثيمين — youtube.com (0:16)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.