A dispute arose between me and my cousin, and then we reconciled, but my mother refuses to accept this reconciliation. What is the guidance in this situation?
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Question:
He asks and says: I have a cousin who is thirty-two years old. A dispute arose between us, and after a few days we reconciled, but our mother was not pleased with this reconciliation. What is your guidance regarding this matter? I should mention that I visit him secretly so that my mother does not get angry. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Reconciliation is better. Allah said:[An-Nisa 4:114] Allah the Exalted said, "Reconciliation is better." Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Hujurat 49:9] up to His saying, "Indeed, the believers are brothers, so make reconciliation between your two brothers." The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sunan al-Bayhaqi 6:54 It is also reported in a hadith that among the types of charity a person owes is that if he goes out and hastens to reconcile between two people, that is charity. His hastening to reconcile between the two disputants and settling the dispute between them is charity. And He the Exalted says: [Al-Anfal 8:1] So reconciliation is commanded by the Shari'ah, and it is among the best of deeds. It is not the right of your mother, nor anyone else, to prevent this reconciliation or to be upset by it or to be angry about it, because that is a dislike of a known good. Obedience to her in this is not permissible; obedience to her in leaving off reconciliation is not permissible, due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Mishkat al-Masabih 3696 So you should reconcile with your cousin, even if your mother is not pleased. If it happens that you can convince her and she is convinced, then praise be to Allah. Otherwise, reconcile between you and him, and visit him, and praise be to Allah. Is it not the right of your mother to make excuses for you in this? May Allah bless you. May Allah reward you with good.
He asks and says: I have a cousin who is thirty-two years old. A dispute arose between us, and after a few days we reconciled, but our mother was not pleased with this reconciliation. What is your guidance regarding this matter? I should mention that I visit him secretly so that my mother does not get angry. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Reconciliation is better. Allah said:
No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people. And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allah - then We are going to give him a great reward.
لَّا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِّن نَّجْوَاهُمْ إِلَّا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلَاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ مَرْضَاتِ اللَّهِ فَسَوْفَ نُؤْتِيهِ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًاAnd if two factions among the believers should fight, then make settlement between the two
وَإِن طَائِفَتَانِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ اقْتَتَلُوا فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَاReconciliation is permissible among Muslims, except for a reconciliation that makes the forbidden lawful or makes the lawful forbidden.
الصلح جائز بين المسلمين إلا صلحا أحل حراما أو حرم حلالاand amend that which is between you and obey Allah and His Messenger, if you should be believers.
وَأَصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِكُمْ وَأَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَA creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the "Creator.”
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق،
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، حصل بيني وبين ابن عمي خلاف، ثم تصالحنا، لكن أمي تأبى هذا الصلح، فما التوجيه والحال هذه؟ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.