Is it permissible for a wife not to obey her husband in the bedroom if she is ill, or if she has no desire for it, or if she is distressed?
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The questioner:
Is it permissible for a wife not to obey her husband when he desires her in the bedroom for a reason? Either she is ill, meaning her disobedience and refusal are for a reason, either she is ill, or she has no desire for it, or she is distressed due to her children's actions or other acceptable reasons. Is it permissible for her not to obey him, or does she become one of the women who disobey their husbands, whom the angels curse until morning?
The Shaykh:
It is obligatory for a woman to obey her husband in what is good; she must obey her husband in what is good. And the greatest of that is obeying him in what he desires from her regarding enjoyment in the bedroom. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3255
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded the Muslim woman to respond to her husband when he calls her to his bed, even if she is on the oven. In one narration, even if she is on the back of a camel. If she does not respond to him without an excuse, the severe warning applies to her. As in the hadith: As it came in the hadith.
If she has a barrier, she has a legal barrier such as menstruation, and he wants to have intercourse with her in the private parts, and commits what Allah has forbidden, then she does not obey him in that. But she obeys him in enjoyment other than intercourse in the private parts. If she is menstruating, he may enjoy her with what is other than intercourse in the private parts. If she is menstruating, or if she has a medical barrier, that she cannot bear intercourse due to an illness in her, or because this affects her, affects her health significantly, then she has the right to refuse, because this is a refusal with a right. Yes.
The questioner:
It appears from the question that she estimates that, Honorable Shaykh, she says she may be ill, or she has no desire for it, or she is distressed due to the children, or other reasons?
The Shaykh:
We mentioned that if the barrier is legal or physical, she may refuse. It is her right to refuse, and she has an excuse for that. But if there is no legal or physical excuse, and it is only because she does not desire it, then this is not her right. She must respond. Yes.
Is it permissible for a wife not to obey her husband when he desires her in the bedroom for a reason? Either she is ill, meaning her disobedience and refusal are for a reason, either she is ill, or she has no desire for it, or she is distressed due to her children's actions or other acceptable reasons. Is it permissible for her not to obey him, or does she become one of the women who disobey their husbands, whom the angels curse until morning?
The Shaykh:
It is obligatory for a woman to obey her husband in what is good; she must obey her husband in what is good. And the greatest of that is obeying him in what he desires from her regarding enjoyment in the bedroom. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
God’s Messenger as saying, “If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband.
صلى الله عَلَيْهِ وَسلم لَو كُنْتُ آمُرُ أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَة أَن تسْجد لزَوجهَا لعظم حقه عليها.The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded the Muslim woman to respond to her husband when he calls her to his bed, even if she is on the oven. In one narration, even if she is on the back of a camel. If she does not respond to him without an excuse, the severe warning applies to her. As in the hadith:
If a woman spends the night and her husband is angry with her, those in the heavens curse her until morning, or
إذا باتت المرأة وزوجها ساخط عليها لعنها من في السماء حتى تصبح أوAs for if she has
أما إذا كان عندهاThe questioner:
It appears from the question that she estimates that, Honorable Shaykh, she says she may be ill, or she has no desire for it, or she is distressed due to the children, or other reasons?
The Shaykh:
We mentioned that if the barrier is legal or physical, she may refuse. It is her right to refuse, and she has an excuse for that. But if there is no legal or physical excuse, and it is only because she does not desire it, then this is not her right. She must respond. Yes.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، هل يجوز للزوجة ألا تطيع زوجها في الفراش إذا كانت مريضة أو ليس بها هوى لذلك، أو لضيق في صدرها؟ — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.