He says that he is afflicted with tightness of the chest and excessive doubts and whispers, especially when he reads in books of jurisprudence in the chapters on divorce and oaths, and particularly when he
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The questioner : He says that he is afflicted with tightness of the chest and excessive doubts and whispers, especially when he reads in books of jurisprudence in the chapters on divorce and oaths, and particularly when he describes the situation of a man who divorced his wife and mentions his words with his tongue as if he were the one speaking them, he fears that a divorce may occur from him, even though he is describing the divorce of another person, which has caused him anxiety and doubt. Does it occur from him or from those like him who narrate the situation of another person's divorce on their tongues, or for example in a case of teaching or the like? Also, he requests an explanation of the hadith, if it is authentic with this wording Sunan ad-Daraqutni 15:112? Yes.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. This brother who has been tested with this matter, which is obsessive doubt regarding divorce and oaths, we inform and advise him that this matter which occurs from him is something by which some people may be tested, and it is common. Its cure is for a person to seek refuge in Allah the Exalted from the accursed Shaytan, and not to pay attention to it, and to know that certainty is not removed by doubt, and that a marriage that is established and remains cannot be removed by mere illusions and whispers. And his wife is not divorced if he narrates the divorce of another, or reads in books of knowledge mentioning divorce, or teaches someone who reads from him the rulings of divorce. Indeed, the wife is not divorced by that. Rather, if it overcomes him until he utters the divorce while being overcome, without intention or will, then the divorce does not occur from him in this state. For some of those who have obsessive doubts in this matter find great tightness and severe distress in themselves until they utter the divorce without will and without intention. Such a person's divorce does not occur. The divorce only occurs if a person intends it truly, and writes it with his hand or speaks it with his tongue intending it, not being forced into it or compelled. So this is what the divorce occurs for. For this reason, some of the scholars of knowledge held that the divorce of the one with obsessive doubts does not occur.
In any case, the cure for this obsessive doubt that has afflicted the asking brother, and perhaps has afflicted many others, is for a person not to pay attention to it and not to worry about it, and to know that if he narrates the divorce of another, or reads the chapter on divorce in jurisprudence, or teaches students in the chapter on divorce, his wife is not divorced if he says something like: "You are divorced," intending to illustrate it for the students or the like. My advice to him and those like him is that they never pay attention to these whispers. Shaytan runs through the son of Adam like blood, and he introduces whispers into him regarding great matters, such as the issue of divorce and the issue of prayer, and even the issue of faith in Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He. The cure for that is to seek refuge in Allah from this matter, and to stop and turn away from it and be distracted from it. By the power of Allah, it will disappear. Many people have tried this and benefited when they sought refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan when afflicted with this, and stopped what they were whispering about, and they saw great benefit from that. For the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered the Companions to do this when they complained to him that they found in their hearts what, if one of them were to fall from the sky, would be more beloved to him than to speak it, or if it were a burning coal, it would be more beloved to them than to speak it. So he guided them to that, (peace and blessings be upon him).
The questioner : O Allah, send prayers upon Muhammad. And what is the status of the hadith he mentioned?
The Shaykh : As for the hadith he mentioned, it is authentic.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Indeed, divorce, marriage, and freeing a slave: their seriousness is serious and their joking is serious. So if a person contracts a marriage and says, "I am joking," his statement is not accepted because he contracted it and intended it, and the establishment of the ruling is with Allah, Mighty and Majestic. And likewise, if a person divorces, even if he is joking, his divorce occurs as long as he intended the divorce. So if he is joking with his wife and says to her, "You are divorced," while he is joking with her, she is divorced by that. And by this, we see that it is obligatory for a person to be cautious in such matters and not to play with divorce.
Three things whose seriousness is serious and whose joking is serious: divorce, marriage, and freeing a slave
ثلاث جدهن جد وهزلهن جد الطلاق والنكاح والعتاقThe Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. This brother who has been tested with this matter, which is obsessive doubt regarding divorce and oaths, we inform and advise him that this matter which occurs from him is something by which some people may be tested, and it is common. Its cure is for a person to seek refuge in Allah the Exalted from the accursed Shaytan, and not to pay attention to it, and to know that certainty is not removed by doubt, and that a marriage that is established and remains cannot be removed by mere illusions and whispers. And his wife is not divorced if he narrates the divorce of another, or reads in books of knowledge mentioning divorce, or teaches someone who reads from him the rulings of divorce. Indeed, the wife is not divorced by that. Rather, if it overcomes him until he utters the divorce while being overcome, without intention or will, then the divorce does not occur from him in this state. For some of those who have obsessive doubts in this matter find great tightness and severe distress in themselves until they utter the divorce without will and without intention. Such a person's divorce does not occur. The divorce only occurs if a person intends it truly, and writes it with his hand or speaks it with his tongue intending it, not being forced into it or compelled. So this is what the divorce occurs for. For this reason, some of the scholars of knowledge held that the divorce of the one with obsessive doubts does not occur.
In any case, the cure for this obsessive doubt that has afflicted the asking brother, and perhaps has afflicted many others, is for a person not to pay attention to it and not to worry about it, and to know that if he narrates the divorce of another, or reads the chapter on divorce in jurisprudence, or teaches students in the chapter on divorce, his wife is not divorced if he says something like: "You are divorced," intending to illustrate it for the students or the like. My advice to him and those like him is that they never pay attention to these whispers. Shaytan runs through the son of Adam like blood, and he introduces whispers into him regarding great matters, such as the issue of divorce and the issue of prayer, and even the issue of faith in Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He. The cure for that is to seek refuge in Allah from this matter, and to stop and turn away from it and be distracted from it. By the power of Allah, it will disappear. Many people have tried this and benefited when they sought refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan when afflicted with this, and stopped what they were whispering about, and they saw great benefit from that. For the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered the Companions to do this when they complained to him that they found in their hearts what, if one of them were to fall from the sky, would be more beloved to him than to speak it, or if it were a burning coal, it would be more beloved to them than to speak it. So he guided them to that, (peace and blessings be upon him).
The questioner : O Allah, send prayers upon Muhammad. And what is the status of the hadith he mentioned?
The Shaykh : As for the hadith he mentioned, it is authentic.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Indeed, divorce, marriage, and freeing a slave: their seriousness is serious and their joking is serious. So if a person contracts a marriage and says, "I am joking," his statement is not accepted because he contracted it and intended it, and the establishment of the ruling is with Allah, Mighty and Majestic. And likewise, if a person divorces, even if he is joking, his divorce occurs as long as he intended the divorce. So if he is joking with his wife and says to her, "You are divorced," while he is joking with her, she is divorced by that. And by this, we see that it is obligatory for a person to be cautious in such matters and not to play with divorce.