What is the ruling on using the hand drum for women and men at weddings?

Question : He says: What is the ruling of my Lord, I rule by it for men, and what I present to you. And regarding the marriage of Maryam, that her companions died, and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was in the city of flowers and was absent.

Answer : There is no doubt that the Lawgiver recommended that women beat the hand drum on the wedding night. For this reason, the scholars said that it is a recommended practice for women to use the hand drum on the wedding night, but on the condition that the songs the women sing are decent songs that do not contain anything that leads to prostitution, lewdness, or open sinfulness, and that men do not listen to them. If men are present with them, it is not permissible, because the mixing of women with men is among the forbidden and blameworthy things. As for men beating the hand drum on such an occasion, the apparent statement of the people of knowledge is that the hand drum is for women only. However, I cannot say that it is forbidden for men on such an occasion unless a proof from the Qur'an and the Sunnah becomes clear to me that it is forbidden for men. And whoever restricts himself to the assistance [of the women] has done well and is more cautious, so that he does not fall into a matter in which there is doubt.