Is it permissible for the guardian of a girl to reject a suitor after having initially accepted him?
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Question:
May Allah reward you with good and do you well. This is a similar case, though the opposite is the correct one here. The person involved in this case is one of our brothers from the Arab Republic of Egypt. He spoke at length about it. The summary is that he proposed to a girl from one of the men, and they agreed to the proposal, but the girl's father changed his mind at the last moment. At that point, he asks for your guidance and advises those who change their minds in such situations. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is obligatory for the guardians of girls, if a man who meets the conditions required by the Shari'ah—such as trustworthiness, religion, and good character—proposes to them, to marry them to him if they are pleased with it, if the girl is also pleased with it. This is because rejecting a suitable suitor has harms; perhaps he will be lost and no replacement will come, causing harm to this girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 1776 [Al-Anfal 8:73] So, regarding this guardian mentioned by the questioner who changed his mind at the last moment: if his change was for a reason that necessitates it and a valid justification, there is no harm in a person changing his mind if something becomes apparent to him that justifies this change, such as it becoming known that this person is not suitable. It became clear to him, so it is obligatory for him to change his mind because he seeks the benefit of his ward. However, if nothing became apparent to him that necessitates the change, and he only changed his mind for a psychological reason, for worldly greed, or for a matter specific to him regarding this person, and in doing so he harms his ward, then this is not permissible for him. This is because he causes his ward to lose her suitable match and delays her marriage for nothing other than a desire in his own soul. He should only look at the benefit of his ward and her placement with a suitable match who is worthy of her and whom she approves of. He should not deprive his ward of marriage if it becomes easy and a suitable suitor proposes to her. This is considered an opportunity that must not be wasted without a valid reason. We advise the guardian of this woman that if the suitor is of the required standard and the girl has accepted him, we advise him to proceed with marrying her and to hasten in doing so, and not to withhold it for a matter specific to him or a desire specific to him, due to the loss of the opportunity and the harm to the woman, and other such dangers. Especially since suitable husbands are few in this time. So if Allah facilitates a suitable match, it is a precious opportunity that should not be wasted. Yes. May Allah reward you with good, and do you well.
May Allah reward you with good and do you well. This is a similar case, though the opposite is the correct one here. The person involved in this case is one of our brothers from the Arab Republic of Egypt. He spoke at length about it. The summary is that he proposed to a girl from one of the men, and they agreed to the proposal, but the girl's father changed his mind at the last moment. At that point, he asks for your guidance and advises those who change their minds in such situations. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is obligatory for the guardians of girls, if a man who meets the conditions required by the Shari'ah—such as trustworthiness, religion, and good character—proposes to them, to marry them to him if they are pleased with it, if the girl is also pleased with it. This is because rejecting a suitable suitor has harms; perhaps he will be lost and no replacement will come, causing harm to this girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
God’s messenger as saying, “When the
صلى الله عليه وسلم إذا أتاكم"whom you approve of in terms of religion and trustworthiness, then marry them to him"
من ترضون دينه وأمانته فزوجوهIf you do not do so, there will be fitnah on earth and great corruption.
إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوهُ تَكُن فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَفَسَادٌ كَبِيرٌ
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، هل يجوز لولي أمر الفتاة أن يرد الخاطب وقد قبله في أول الأمر؟ الشيخ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.
