Is it a sin for me to disobey my mother if she orders me to go to weddings that contain violations of the Shari'ah?
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The questioner:
May Allah reward you. A woman says that she is facing a modern problem that has caused her hesitation in going with her family to occasions and wedding parties. This is because she sees things in the women's private areas that do not satisfy the mind, the conscience, or the Shari'ah, and she is pained by the way they dress. However, her problem is her lack of boldness to confront them and advise them. When she asks her family to allow her not to go, out of fear of sin, her mother gets angry because she wants her to go out with them. What should she do? Is it a sin for her not to advise them? Is she required to obey her mother in going out, or should her mother allow her to stay at home? This is a question from Sister Nawal al-Dawsari.
The Shaykh:
If the party contains wrongdoings, sins, and violations of the Shari'ah, then it is not permissible to attend except for one who is able to forbid the evil and remove it. As for one who is not able to forbid the evil, or who forbids it but people do not act upon his words, then it is not permissible for him to go to that party or attend it; because he would be a partner in the sin. So this girl should stay at home, even if her mother gets angry; because her going with her mother to the party is a sin. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: "There is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator." So the mother is the one who is wrong, and she is the one who is sinning in this matter, so it is not permissible for her to obey her. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you. If it is said, O Shaykh, that her not going out makes her introverted and causes suitors to turn away from her, is this correct?
The Shaykh:
This does no harm; rather, this makes suitors desire her[At-Talaq 65:2-3]. Yes.
May Allah reward you. A woman says that she is facing a modern problem that has caused her hesitation in going with her family to occasions and wedding parties. This is because she sees things in the women's private areas that do not satisfy the mind, the conscience, or the Shari'ah, and she is pained by the way they dress. However, her problem is her lack of boldness to confront them and advise them. When she asks her family to allow her not to go, out of fear of sin, her mother gets angry because she wants her to go out with them. What should she do? Is it a sin for her not to advise them? Is she required to obey her mother in going out, or should her mother allow her to stay at home? This is a question from Sister Nawal al-Dawsari.
The Shaykh:
If the party contains wrongdoings, sins, and violations of the Shari'ah, then it is not permissible to attend except for one who is able to forbid the evil and remove it. As for one who is not able to forbid the evil, or who forbids it but people do not act upon his words, then it is not permissible for him to go to that party or attend it; because he would be a partner in the sin. So this girl should stay at home, even if her mother gets angry; because her going with her mother to the party is a sin. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: "There is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator." So the mother is the one who is wrong, and she is the one who is sinning in this matter, so it is not permissible for her to obey her. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you. If it is said, O Shaykh, that her not going out makes her introverted and causes suitors to turn away from her, is this correct?
The Shaykh:
This does no harm; rather, this makes suitors desire her
And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out (3) And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him
وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، 5632- هل علي إثم في مخالفة أمي إن أمرتني بالذهاب لأعراس فيها مخالفات شرعية؟ - الشيخ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.