The Three Types of Friends: A Friend of Benefit, a Friend of Pleasure, and a Friend of Virtue
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : Now, these friends are divided into three categories. The first is a friend of benefit, who befriends you only as long as he benefits from you in terms of money, status, or anything else. Once the benefit ceases, he becomes your enemy; he does not know you, and you do not know him.
The Shaykh : And how many there are of these, how many there are of those who[At-Tawbah 9:58]
The questioner : There is a close friend of yours whom you consider among the most dear people to you, and you are among the most dear to him. One day he asks you, saying, "Give me your book so I can read it." You say, "By Allah, I need the book today; I will give it to you tomorrow." He then becomes angry with you and turns against you. Is this a friend? This friend is one of the friends of benefit.
The Shaykh : The second is a friend of pleasure, meaning he does not befriend you except because he enjoys sitting with you, conversing, and socializing. However, he does not benefit you, and you do not benefit from him. Each of you does not benefit the other; it is merely a waste of time. You should also beware of him wasting your time.
The questioner : The third is a friend of virtue.
The Shaykh : He encourages you to do what increases your good and restrains you from what causes regret. He opens the doors of good for you and guides you to it. If you slip, he alerts you in a way that does not scratch your dignity. This is the friend of virtue.
The questioner : All right.
The Shaykh : The term "friend of benefit" is the broadest of these categories.
The questioner : Because benefits are very numerous.
The Shaykh : So if you see this man does not befriend you except where he can suck the benefit from you, know that he is an enemy and not a friend.
The questioner : Likewise, the friend of pleasure who occupies you and distracts you with the enjoyment of chatting and wasting time by going to parks and the like, there is no good in him either.
The Shaykh : The one you must hold on to with your teeth is the friend of virtue, who encourages you to every virtue and restrains you from every vice.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Brother Ahmad, we have just started.
The questioner : Please, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Dividing friends into three categories: a friend of benefit, a friend of pleasure, and a friend of virtue, and we said to hold fast to the roots of the friend of virtue.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Prepared by the Project of the Senior Scholars of Kuwait, may Allah honor it with tawhid (the oneness of Allah) and the Sunnah.
The Shaykh : And how many there are of these, how many there are of those who
criticize you concerning the [distribution of] charities. If they are given from them, they approve; but if they are not given from them, at once they become angry.
يَلْمِزُكَ فِي الصَّدَقَاتِ فَإِنْ أُعْطُوا مِنْهَا رَضُوا وَإِن لَّمْ يُعْطَوْا مِنْهَا إِذَا هُمْ يَسْخَطُونَThe questioner : There is a close friend of yours whom you consider among the most dear people to you, and you are among the most dear to him. One day he asks you, saying, "Give me your book so I can read it." You say, "By Allah, I need the book today; I will give it to you tomorrow." He then becomes angry with you and turns against you. Is this a friend? This friend is one of the friends of benefit.
The Shaykh : The second is a friend of pleasure, meaning he does not befriend you except because he enjoys sitting with you, conversing, and socializing. However, he does not benefit you, and you do not benefit from him. Each of you does not benefit the other; it is merely a waste of time. You should also beware of him wasting your time.
The questioner : The third is a friend of virtue.
The Shaykh : He encourages you to do what increases your good and restrains you from what causes regret. He opens the doors of good for you and guides you to it. If you slip, he alerts you in a way that does not scratch your dignity. This is the friend of virtue.
The questioner : All right.
The Shaykh : The term "friend of benefit" is the broadest of these categories.
The questioner : Because benefits are very numerous.
The Shaykh : So if you see this man does not befriend you except where he can suck the benefit from you, know that he is an enemy and not a friend.
The questioner : Likewise, the friend of pleasure who occupies you and distracts you with the enjoyment of chatting and wasting time by going to parks and the like, there is no good in him either.
The Shaykh : The one you must hold on to with your teeth is the friend of virtue, who encourages you to every virtue and restrains you from every vice.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Brother Ahmad, we have just started.
The questioner : Please, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Dividing friends into three categories: a friend of benefit, a friend of pleasure, and a friend of virtue, and we said to hold fast to the roots of the friend of virtue.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Prepared by the Project of the Senior Scholars of Kuwait, may Allah honor it with tawhid (the oneness of Allah) and the Sunnah.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، 129 - 178 الأصدقاء ثلاثة صديق منفعة وصديق لذة وصديق فضيلة - شرح حلية طالب العلم - ابن عثيمين — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.