The Meaning of the Hadith: (O Allah, this is my portion of what I control, so do not blame me for what I do not control)
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : How is this life? May Allah grant the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) well-being. Yes.
The Shaykh : If I had said "upon his family," I would have been safe from the error of elision. May Allah will it for you. And upon his family. And upon his family and his companions. O Allah, this is my portion of what I control, so do not blame me for what I do not control. That is fine.
The questioner : What is it that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) controls? And what is it that he does not control?
The Shaykh : With him, and for this reason, even the wives of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)—regarding A'ishah, we know that he loved her more than the others. When Sawdah bint Zam'a feared that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would divorce her, she gave her day to A'ishah, because she and the other wives of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) knew that the Messenger loved A'ishah more.
The questioner : Why did we say it is forbidden for him to have intercourse with one and not the other?
The Shaykh : If we open it up.
The questioner : Whoever loves may come.
The Shaykh : We did not say it that way; we said if he does it intentionally. He intentionally turns away from this one and gives all his attention to the second. Understand, I mean, if you are a student of mine and you understand this, even though I have detailed the issue of this. But if he did not do it intentionally, and he lies on the bed equally, facing the woman and meaning to arouse her desire, but he does not have desire, this is what a person does not control.
The Shaykh : If I had said "upon his family," I would have been safe from the error of elision. May Allah will it for you. And upon his family. And upon his family and his companions. O Allah, this is my portion of what I control, so do not blame me for what I do not control. That is fine.
The questioner : What is it that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) controls? And what is it that he does not control?
The Shaykh : With him, and for this reason, even the wives of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)—regarding A'ishah, we know that he loved her more than the others. When Sawdah bint Zam'a feared that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would divorce her, she gave her day to A'ishah, because she and the other wives of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) knew that the Messenger loved A'ishah more.
The questioner : Why did we say it is forbidden for him to have intercourse with one and not the other?
The Shaykh : If we open it up.
The questioner : Whoever loves may come.
The Shaykh : We did not say it that way; we said if he does it intentionally. He intentionally turns away from this one and gives all his attention to the second. Understand, I mean, if you are a student of mine and you understand this, even though I have detailed the issue of this. But if he did not do it intentionally, and he lies on the bed equally, facing the woman and meaning to arouse her desire, but he does not have desire, this is what a person does not control.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، [763] معنى حديث: (اللهم هذا قسمي فيما أملك فلا تلمني فيما لا أملك) - الشيخ ابن عثيمين — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.