The Meaning of the Hadith: “I seek refuge in Allah from you,” and the Ruling on a Wife Saying This to Her Husband
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The questioner:
A method of preference. In the authentic hadith from Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased with him), from Abu al-Jawzi, when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) came to her, she said, “I seek refuge in Allah from you.” He said to her, “I have seen with my eyes the ruling regarding your matter.” What is the meaning of this hadith? What is the ruling if a wife says to her husband, “I seek refuge in Allah from you”? And what does he do if it is at the time of consummation?
The Shaykh:
Yes, this is what was reported as the questioner mentioned. It is said that the woman was deceived by some women. They told her: When the Messenger of Allah enters upon you, say, “I seek refuge in Allah from you,” for he will love you and desire you. Yes, most women are like devils. So when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) entered, she said this phrase to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was polite with Allah the Exalted and said, “I have known by its meaning,” and in another narration, “I have known by its greatness.” He left it as a sign of politeness with Allah the Exalted and Glorified. How can she seek refuge in Allah from him, and He does not protect her, when he is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)? This is what occurred in the reported narration. It is said that she was deceived by some jealous women who thought she would become a wife of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). As for the believers, this happened. The point is that the Messenger magnified Allah the Exalted, magnifying Him with the due magnification. Therefore, when she sought refuge in Allah from him, he protected her. Likewise, a believer should do this: if someone seeks refuge in Allah from him, he should protect them, as a sign of politeness with Allah the Exalted and humility before Allah the Exalted. Yes.
The questioner:
If the wife contradicted her husband in the matter.
The Shaykh:
She should not say it, if Allah wills. Yes. If she says it, it becomes a habit and there is no benefit in it. Yes.
The questioner:
And she said it after a period of time, meaning one or two years after the marriage.
The Shaykh:
The apparent meaning of the hadith is that he leaves her, because there is no good in her. If she does this, then she does not want him. Yes.
A method of preference. In the authentic hadith from Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased with him), from Abu al-Jawzi, when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) came to her, she said, “I seek refuge in Allah from you.” He said to her, “I have seen with my eyes the ruling regarding your matter.” What is the meaning of this hadith? What is the ruling if a wife says to her husband, “I seek refuge in Allah from you”? And what does he do if it is at the time of consummation?
The Shaykh:
Yes, this is what was reported as the questioner mentioned. It is said that the woman was deceived by some women. They told her: When the Messenger of Allah enters upon you, say, “I seek refuge in Allah from you,” for he will love you and desire you. Yes, most women are like devils. So when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) entered, she said this phrase to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was polite with Allah the Exalted and said, “I have known by its meaning,” and in another narration, “I have known by its greatness.” He left it as a sign of politeness with Allah the Exalted and Glorified. How can she seek refuge in Allah from him, and He does not protect her, when he is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)? This is what occurred in the reported narration. It is said that she was deceived by some jealous women who thought she would become a wife of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). As for the believers, this happened. The point is that the Messenger magnified Allah the Exalted, magnifying Him with the due magnification. Therefore, when she sought refuge in Allah from him, he protected her. Likewise, a believer should do this: if someone seeks refuge in Allah from him, he should protect them, as a sign of politeness with Allah the Exalted and humility before Allah the Exalted. Yes.
The questioner:
If the wife contradicted her husband in the matter.
The Shaykh:
She should not say it, if Allah wills. Yes. If she says it, it becomes a habit and there is no benefit in it. Yes.
The questioner:
And she said it after a period of time, meaning one or two years after the marriage.
The Shaykh:
The apparent meaning of the hadith is that he leaves her, because there is no good in her. If she does this, then she does not want him. Yes.
Source
قول الزوجة لزوجها : أعوذ بالله منك — alfawzan.live
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.