Guidance on the hadith regarding the torment of the deceased due to wailing over him

Question:
He says: Shaykh, I seek forgiveness from Allah. What is the guidance regarding the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that the one who is wailed over will be tormented by the weeping of his family over him? And is there a deficiency in patience in the weeping, for example, regarding its warning?

Answer:
It is by what he was wailed over. As for weeping, the deceased is not tormented for it. His relatives weep over him, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is the wailing (niyahah) for which the living and the dead are tormented. He is tormented by what he was wailed over. The scholars differed regarding the interpretation of "by what he was wailed over." How is the dead person tormented by the action of another? Or they said that it is interpreted as if he had willed it before his death, saying, "When I die, gather the women and say such and such, and do such and such," just as was the case in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance (jahiliyyah). They would will that wailing be done over them, and they are tormented because of this. And it is long—meaning, the intended meaning of his torment is that he feels pain, not that he is tormented by the Fire. Rather, the meaning of torment is feeling pain, meaning he is not pleased with it. He is not pleased with it in his grave. This distresses him and causes him pain. The correct position is to refrain from interpreting this, and to say that he is tormented by what he was wailed over, as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, without interpreting this.