Conditions of the Mahr and the Wedding Party Before the Marriage Contract
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh:
No, do not spend on them from anyone; they are with us.
The questioner:
What Allah willed.
The Shaykh:
And if he has something, it comes to him.
The questioner:
No, they have no right; my father walks; may Allah suffice you.
The Shaykh:
What Allah willed.
The questioner:
Another person asks, saying: I proposed to my cousin, and they demanded a mahr of ninety thousand, and ten thousand for each of her three sisters, as well as a wedding party at a hotel. They forced me to meet these conditions. Should I meet these conditions, given that the contract has not been concluded?
The Shaykh:
After that time, and then the zoom star, after that there is no contract between you or anything. This is either you agree to it if you wish, or you abandon it if you wish. It is not befitting for them to do this; they should be lenient, they should lighten the burden, they should be satisfied with a mahr of ten thousand, five thousand, around that. It is not befitting for them to speak in this manner, for the remaining opportunities are greater, and there are many others with higher mahr. They should verify and not be strict in this matter. And there is no choice in the hotel; do not plan the wedding in a hotel. If it is in one of your houses, or the house of your neighbors, or your houses are modest, do not burden things. If you burden things, you burden others. You must be humble and not be extravagant, so that those like you and your companions do not become extravagant. And you should use the good, kind relatives of theirs as intermediaries between you, to mediate between you until they lighten this mahr and these conditions for you. As for if the contract is concluded, Muslims are bound by their conditions. If the contract is concluded between you, you are bound by its conditions.
No, do not spend on them from anyone; they are with us.
The questioner:
What Allah willed.
The Shaykh:
And if he has something, it comes to him.
The questioner:
No, they have no right; my father walks; may Allah suffice you.
The Shaykh:
What Allah willed.
The questioner:
Another person asks, saying: I proposed to my cousin, and they demanded a mahr of ninety thousand, and ten thousand for each of her three sisters, as well as a wedding party at a hotel. They forced me to meet these conditions. Should I meet these conditions, given that the contract has not been concluded?
The Shaykh:
After that time, and then the zoom star, after that there is no contract between you or anything. This is either you agree to it if you wish, or you abandon it if you wish. It is not befitting for them to do this; they should be lenient, they should lighten the burden, they should be satisfied with a mahr of ten thousand, five thousand, around that. It is not befitting for them to speak in this manner, for the remaining opportunities are greater, and there are many others with higher mahr. They should verify and not be strict in this matter. And there is no choice in the hotel; do not plan the wedding in a hotel. If it is in one of your houses, or the house of your neighbors, or your houses are modest, do not burden things. If you burden things, you burden others. You must be humble and not be extravagant, so that those like you and your companions do not become extravagant. And you should use the good, kind relatives of theirs as intermediaries between you, to mediate between you until they lighten this mahr and these conditions for you. As for if the contract is concluded, Muslims are bound by their conditions. If the contract is concluded between you, you are bound by its conditions.
Source
ندوات الجامع الكبير مع الأسئلة - 45 — archive.org
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.