Looking at the prospective bride before marriage
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commands us to look at the wife before marriage, but when we ask our fathers to do so, they refuse. What is the solution?
The Shaykh:
If it is possible to look at her, there is nothing wrong with it. If it is not possible, send a woman—your mother or your sister—to see the truth and look at her, and they will tell you everything. This is how it was done in the Sunnah; they did this in the early period, and likewise in the later period. If it is possible for her father and brother to allow you to look at her, praise be to Allah. If it is not possible, they are not obligated to do so. It is better for them to let you see her, but if they refuse, they are not compelled. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not compel people to do so. But if it is possible for you to see her, send someone you trust from among your mother, sister, aunt, or maternal aunt, or a trustworthy woman, to look at her once, twice, or three times until you know her condition, her conduct, and her character. Then be patient with everything. Yes.
The presenter:
And another says: I am a soldier. What is not permissible for the suitor regarding the wife? I mean, what is not permissible for the suitor to see?
The Shaykh:
He looks at her face and her hands, her hands and her head. There is no harm in what is usually visible, what is normally exposed of her.
The presenter:
Is it permissible for her to show her face or her hand?
The Shaykh:
Yes, yes. He looks at her, and she looks at him, but without seclusion. There must be someone with her, such as her mother, or her father, or her children. He does not remain alone with her.
The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commands us to look at the wife before marriage, but when we ask our fathers to do so, they refuse. What is the solution?
The Shaykh:
If it is possible to look at her, there is nothing wrong with it. If it is not possible, send a woman—your mother or your sister—to see the truth and look at her, and they will tell you everything. This is how it was done in the Sunnah; they did this in the early period, and likewise in the later period. If it is possible for her father and brother to allow you to look at her, praise be to Allah. If it is not possible, they are not obligated to do so. It is better for them to let you see her, but if they refuse, they are not compelled. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not compel people to do so. But if it is possible for you to see her, send someone you trust from among your mother, sister, aunt, or maternal aunt, or a trustworthy woman, to look at her once, twice, or three times until you know her condition, her conduct, and her character. Then be patient with everything. Yes.
The presenter:
And another says: I am a soldier. What is not permissible for the suitor regarding the wife? I mean, what is not permissible for the suitor to see?
The Shaykh:
He looks at her face and her hands, her hands and her head. There is no harm in what is usually visible, what is normally exposed of her.
The presenter:
Is it permissible for her to show her face or her hand?
The Shaykh:
Yes, yes. He looks at her, and she looks at him, but without seclusion. There must be someone with her, such as her mother, or her father, or her children. He does not remain alone with her.
Source
ندوات الجامع الكبير مع الأسئلة - 45 — archive.org (33:19)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.