The Ruling on Marrying Without the Father’s Knowledge and Obeying Him in What Is Good
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
The questioner also says: I inform you, Your Eminence the Shaykh, that I love you for the sake of Allah. I ask the honorable scholars to preserve the entire Qur’an and act upon it, and to grant me a righteous wife. My question is: My father wants to marry me to one of the relatives who is a *tabarruj* (a woman who displays her adornment). Is it permissible for me to marry without his knowledge a committed girl, especially since I am in one country and he is in another? Please advise us. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
As for love for the sake of Allah, we say: May Allah love you for having guided you, and we ask Allah to grant you success, rectify your heart and your deeds, and grant you a righteous wife, the memorization of the Qur'an, and protect us all from the misguidance of trials. As for my advice to you, it is to take care to obey your father as much as possible. He is eager for you to obey him. You should excuse yourself from the woman who displays her adornment (tabarruj). The woman who displays her adornment may be guided by Allah. If she returns from her bad way and becomes upright, there is no harm. Your mother and sisters can say to her: if she returns from her bad way and becomes upright, there is no harm. As much as possible, obey your father, and if there is something between you and him, that is better. So strive to obey your father, and replace the one who displays her adornment with another. Mention to her the one you love, saying that you love so-and-so and so-and-so, and may Allah guide her, if Allah wills. Whoever fears Allah, make a way out for him. Do not strive for things that are against your father's wishes. Strive to obey him and agree with him, and consider his feelings with kind words and good manners. And he, if Allah wills, will guide her to you. Whoever fears Allah, make a way out for him. And if someone wrongs her, it is best... and whoever fears Allah, make it easy for him. Mention to her this woman, and if she is not suitable, and there is so-and-so, the daughter of so-and-so, who is suitable, but in another country. Strive to please her. As for if he forces you to marry a woman who is not righteous, no, you are not required to obey him. A woman who is known not to be righteous, no, you are not required to obey him. As for the woman who displays her adornment, the display of adornment can be left behind. She can be guided. Her sisters, her mother, and her relatives can advise her, and she can be guided. This is not impossible. If she repents and returns, praise be to Allah. Yes.
The questioner also says: I inform you, Your Eminence the Shaykh, that I love you for the sake of Allah. I ask the honorable scholars to preserve the entire Qur’an and act upon it, and to grant me a righteous wife. My question is: My father wants to marry me to one of the relatives who is a *tabarruj* (a woman who displays her adornment). Is it permissible for me to marry without his knowledge a committed girl, especially since I am in one country and he is in another? Please advise us. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
As for love for the sake of Allah, we say: May Allah love you for having guided you, and we ask Allah to grant you success, rectify your heart and your deeds, and grant you a righteous wife, the memorization of the Qur'an, and protect us all from the misguidance of trials. As for my advice to you, it is to take care to obey your father as much as possible. He is eager for you to obey him. You should excuse yourself from the woman who displays her adornment (tabarruj). The woman who displays her adornment may be guided by Allah. If she returns from her bad way and becomes upright, there is no harm. Your mother and sisters can say to her: if she returns from her bad way and becomes upright, there is no harm. As much as possible, obey your father, and if there is something between you and him, that is better. So strive to obey your father, and replace the one who displays her adornment with another. Mention to her the one you love, saying that you love so-and-so and so-and-so, and may Allah guide her, if Allah wills. Whoever fears Allah, make a way out for him. Do not strive for things that are against your father's wishes. Strive to obey him and agree with him, and consider his feelings with kind words and good manners. And he, if Allah wills, will guide her to you. Whoever fears Allah, make a way out for him. And if someone wrongs her, it is best... and whoever fears Allah, make it easy for him. Mention to her this woman, and if she is not suitable, and there is so-and-so, the daughter of so-and-so, who is suitable, but in another country. Strive to please her. As for if he forces you to marry a woman who is not righteous, no, you are not required to obey him. A woman who is known not to be righteous, no, you are not required to obey him. As for the woman who displays her adornment, the display of adornment can be left behind. She can be guided. Her sisters, her mother, and her relatives can advise her, and she can be guided. This is not impossible. If she repents and returns, praise be to Allah. Yes.
Source
فتاوى الحج 1410 هـ - 3 — archive.org (44:44)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.