My father wants to marry me to my cousin, but I do not want that, so I rejected the one my father wants and married another. Am I undutiful?
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Question:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. He says: My father told me, while I was choosing a wife, that he wants to marry me to my cousin, but I do not want that, so I rejected the one my father wants and married another. Am I undutiful in that case? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You are not undutiful in that, because marriage is based on the desire between the two spouses, one’s desire for the other. And if you differ from your father in that you do not desire what he advised you to, then that is up to you, because you have the right to choose a wife and to choose the one you desire to marry, on the condition that she is righteous and free from the observations that would disrupt [the marriage] without them, or regarding her conduct with you.
So if it became clear that she is righteous and upright, and your desire is attached to her, there is nothing wrong with marrying her. Even if she is not the one your father desires to marry you to, because the right of choice and consent is obligatory for you. And it is not befitting for a father to force his son or compel his son to marry a woman he does not desire.
Especially if that is motivated by affection, or if that is motivated by what some people have of restricting a paternal uncle’s daughter to her paternal uncle’s son, or if some tribes do not want to marry from tribes other than their own, all tribalism and partisanship. And marriage is built on fear and tranquility, on the condition that each of the spouses is righteous in his religion and upright in his character. If these conditions are met, then the marriage will be successful, if Allah wills, whether this woman is from the relatives or from non-relatives, from non-
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. He says: My father told me, while I was choosing a wife, that he wants to marry me to my cousin, but I do not want that, so I rejected the one my father wants and married another. Am I undutiful in that case? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You are not undutiful in that, because marriage is based on the desire between the two spouses, one’s desire for the other. And if you differ from your father in that you do not desire what he advised you to, then that is up to you, because you have the right to choose a wife and to choose the one you desire to marry, on the condition that she is righteous and free from the observations that would disrupt [the marriage] without them, or regarding her conduct with you.
So if it became clear that she is righteous and upright, and your desire is attached to her, there is nothing wrong with marrying her. Even if she is not the one your father desires to marry you to, because the right of choice and consent is obligatory for you. And it is not befitting for a father to force his son or compel his son to marry a woman he does not desire.
Especially if that is motivated by affection, or if that is motivated by what some people have of restricting a paternal uncle’s daughter to her paternal uncle’s son, or if some tribes do not want to marry from tribes other than their own, all tribalism and partisanship. And marriage is built on fear and tranquility, on the condition that each of the spouses is righteous in his religion and upright in his character. If these conditions are met, then the marriage will be successful, if Allah wills, whether this woman is from the relatives or from non-relatives, from non-
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، أبي يريد أن يزوجني بقريبتي، وأنا لا أريد ذلك، فتركت التي يريدها والدي، وتزوجت بأخرى، هل أكون عاقا؟ — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.