Crying and Complaining in Times of Calamity and Patience

Question:
This message was forwarded from Umm Muhammad in Riyadh. She says: I am a woman who faces many sorrows, and I know, if Allah wills, that this is divine decree, and I try to be patient, but it is difficult for me to be patient. I may cry, and sometimes I complain to some relatives so that this sorrow eases for me. What should I do? May Allah bless you.

Answer:
As for crying, it does not contradict patience. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cried when his son Ibrahim died, so crying does not contradict patience, because it is not by human choice. What contradicts patience is despair through words or actions, such as slapping the cheeks, tearing the clothes, and the pre-Islamic age of ignorance wailing. This is what contradicts patience, as well as wailing and the like. Also, complaining should be avoided. Ya'qub (peace be upon him) said: So one should not complain to anyone except to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He).