Guidance for Addressing Marital Problems

Question:
This sister, the questioner, Umm Ahmad, says: I hope you will present my letter to Shaykh Salih (may Allah guide him). Remember, Shaykh (may Allah protect you), that she is a woman who has been married for twenty-five years. She says: I have many sons and daughters, and I face many marital problems from my husband. He frequently insults me in front of my sons and daughters, and in front of relatives and strangers. He does not appreciate the long duration of our marriage. I am a religious woman who prays, and I do not feel at ease except when he leaves the house. Even though he is a man of prayer, I ask you to guide me to the proper way to treat this husband at home. May Allah reward you with good. And what is the guidance for him? May Allah reward you with good?

Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. As for what follows, it is incumbent upon each of the spouses to treat the other with kindness and good conduct, for this is what marriage requires. This also makes the family comfortable and at peace, and the children grow up with good morals. Each of the spouses should be good in his or her treatment of the other. If one of the spouses commits a fault or falls short in their treatment of the other, the other party should be patient. The husband should be patient with any shortcomings in his wife, and the wife should also be patient with any shortcomings in her husband. Both parties should be tolerant of each other so that the marriage endures and discord is removed. Allah knows best. Yes.