What is the ruling on weeping for the deceased, what is the weeping for which the deceased is punished, and is the deceased held accountable for the sin of another?

Question:
The questioner, Maimun al-Zalafi, says: I read in a book that it is not permissible to weep for the deceased because he is punished by the weeping of his family over him. What is the weeping intended? Is it ordinary weeping or wailing? By which of the two is he punished? And does this involve holding him accountable for the sin of another? We ask for clarification. May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
The hadith does not state that he is punished by the weeping of his family; rather, it states that he is punished by the wailing over him. Wailing is raising the voice and enumerating the virtues of the deceased, as was the practice in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance (jahiliyyah). This is what is forbidden (haram), and it is by this that the deceased is punished in his grave, as stated in the hadith. As for whether he is punished by the action of another, the scholars have given different answers. Some said that he is punished by it if he was pleased with it while alive and had willed it. Others said that the meaning of "punished" is that he is pained by it, it causes him distress, and he dislikes this action. Yes. In any case, the hadith is authentic (sahih) that This necessitates that the relatives of the deceased exercise patience and seek reward from Allah, restrain their tongues from forbidden speech, restrain their hands from striking their cheeks and tearing their garments, and restrain their souls from despair and dissatisfaction.