How to Deal with a Wife Who Makes Excessive Demands

The questioner:
I have a wife, and I provide for her clothing, food, drink, and housing. However, she asks me for things I cannot afford, and this causes problems between us every day. I have come to dislike entering the house because of her. She has asked me for a divorce, and she is in her ninth month of pregnancy. I am employed, and I have done the impossible to please her, but she refuses. Please advise us, may Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh:
A man of sound mind and noble character is helped by Allah to please his wife with kind words, sweet and pleasant phrases, good conduct, and a good relationship, and then things settle down. A weak woman, when she sees from her husband good speech, excellence, a good relationship, soft words, and good promises, her character improves and her affairs become straight. But with violence, harshness, arrogance, and indifference to her words, this only makes the mud stickier, causing the problems to lengthen and continue. A man should have softness, compassion, gentleness, kindness, and a good manner. Be hopeful, if Allah wills, things will become easy. Be hopeful for good, O so-and-so's father, O so-and-so's mother, be hopeful for good, kind words, a good tongue. Even if he lies, it does no harm. There is no harm in him making promises and lying to open the door for Allah, and he is safe. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Ibn Kathir (may Allah be pleased with her), the daughter of 'Abd al-Rabb, heard the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) say: "I have not heard a lie told except in three cases." Then he mentioned of the three: the man and his wife, and the woman and her husband. The first is in war, the second is in reconciliation between people, and the third is in the hadith of where he tells her a lie, and she tells him a lie, if it concerns their private matters and what pleases one of them with the other. He says, "I will buy you this," and "I will do this," and "I will do that," and "We will buy a dress," and "We will buy a suitable dress," meaning he makes good promises. He does not fulfill them, for they are a barrier against him, but it is for the sake of pleasing hearts, and for the sake of excellence, and for the sake of speech, and for the sake of fulfilling desires, and for the sake of kind words, until Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) opens the door. And it is important that every person of creation has good character, kind speech, and no violence or harshness. Yes.

The presenter:
From Turkey, the first one. Yes.

The questioner:
Is it first to leave him?

The Shaykh:
If she does not call for a need, there is no need, but if she calls for a need, there is no harm.