Dealing with a man who appears to be committed but engages in much backbiting
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Question:
Honorable Shaykh, may Allah grant you success. I am in the company of a man who claims to be committed, but the only sign of his commitment is that he wears a short garment. He used to be with a group of young men but left them, and he does not memorize anything from the Qur'an. He engages in a lot of backbiting. When I am in his company, I do not benefit from him in any way; rather, he led me astray from this gathering for about a month. How should I deal with him? Should I keep his company or leave him? Should I love him or hate him?
Answer:
First, wearing a short garment is not evidence of commitment. Yes, it is a sign of commitment, but the garment is clothing, and praise be to Allah, only letting it hang below the ankles is forbidden. As for what is from the ankles upward, that is permissible. Commitment does not mean that he shortens his garment; rather, it means that he does what Allah has permitted in clothing and avoids what Allah has forbidden in clothing. As for your situation with him, it is obligatory for you to do one of two things. If he accepts advice and there is a benefit in your staying with him in influencing him, and he accepts advice, then you stay with him, call him to Allah, and be patient, hoping that Allah will guide him, if you have hope in that. But if this does not benefit him, and he does not change and does not accept [advice], it is obligatory for you to isolate him and stay away from him. Yes.
Honorable Shaykh, may Allah grant you success. I am in the company of a man who claims to be committed, but the only sign of his commitment is that he wears a short garment. He used to be with a group of young men but left them, and he does not memorize anything from the Qur'an. He engages in a lot of backbiting. When I am in his company, I do not benefit from him in any way; rather, he led me astray from this gathering for about a month. How should I deal with him? Should I keep his company or leave him? Should I love him or hate him?
Answer:
First, wearing a short garment is not evidence of commitment. Yes, it is a sign of commitment, but the garment is clothing, and praise be to Allah, only letting it hang below the ankles is forbidden. As for what is from the ankles upward, that is permissible. Commitment does not mean that he shortens his garment; rather, it means that he does what Allah has permitted in clothing and avoids what Allah has forbidden in clothing. As for your situation with him, it is obligatory for you to do one of two things. If he accepts advice and there is a benefit in your staying with him in influencing him, and he accepts advice, then you stay with him, call him to Allah, and be patient, hoping that Allah will guide him, if you have hope in that. But if this does not benefit him, and he does not change and does not accept [advice], it is obligatory for you to isolate him and stay away from him. Yes.
Source
شرح قرة عيون الموحدين في تحقيق دعوة الأنبياء والمرسلين، باب قول الله - تعالى - : { وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَنْ يَتَّخِذُ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَنْدَاداً يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ اللَّهِ } — islamhouse.com (1:09:15)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.