The Ruling on Eating from One’s Father’s Wealth, Given That He Does Not Pray, and on Obedience to Him
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Question:
The questioner says: Your Eminence the Shaykh (may Allah preserve you), peace be upon you and Allah’s mercy and blessings. No, by Allah. What is the ruling on living and eating in my father’s house, knowing that he does not pray, and that I am unable to support myself due to my preoccupation with studies, and I want him to provide for me? What is the ruling on obeying him as well?
Answer:
As long as your father's earnings are ordinary and his work is lawful, like the work of other people, there is no harm. There is no harm in you eating from your father's food and accepting his financial support for you. However, you must hate him for the sake of Allah, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and give him sincere advice. You should adopt appropriate methods for this, such as gentleness, kindness, and reminding him. Do not address him with any arrogance or superiority, implying that you are better than him or know more than he does. No, address him as "my father, my father." Ibrahim (peace be upon him) used to say, "My father, my father, my father." Yes. And obey him as well; obey him in anything other than disobedience to Allah. Obey him when he asks you to fulfill a need for him.
You are asked to go to a certain place and bring him a specific need, or to drive him in a car, or to serve him in one of the matters. Allah the Exalted says:[Luqman 31:14-15]. And his companion is self-assured, [Luqman 31:15] and if they offer you a deal that you associate partners with Him, do not obey them, and treat them with kindness in this world.
Allah commanded obedience to parents in anything other than disobedience to Allah, and commanded treating them with kindness, meaning with gentleness, good character, service, and maintaining ties, but with hatred and aversion for their disobedience to Allah.
And the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), when he warned his tribe, said: Save yourselves from the Fire. I cannot benefit you against Allah in anything, except that you have a kinship with me which I will fulfill despite your harm.
The questioner says: Your Eminence the Shaykh (may Allah preserve you), peace be upon you and Allah’s mercy and blessings. No, by Allah. What is the ruling on living and eating in my father’s house, knowing that he does not pray, and that I am unable to support myself due to my preoccupation with studies, and I want him to provide for me? What is the ruling on obeying him as well?
Answer:
As long as your father's earnings are ordinary and his work is lawful, like the work of other people, there is no harm. There is no harm in you eating from your father's food and accepting his financial support for you. However, you must hate him for the sake of Allah, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and give him sincere advice. You should adopt appropriate methods for this, such as gentleness, kindness, and reminding him. Do not address him with any arrogance or superiority, implying that you are better than him or know more than he does. No, address him as "my father, my father." Ibrahim (peace be upon him) used to say, "My father, my father, my father." Yes. And obey him as well; obey him in anything other than disobedience to Allah. Obey him when he asks you to fulfill a need for him.
You are asked to go to a certain place and bring him a specific need, or to drive him in a car, or to serve him in one of the matters. Allah the Exalted says:
(14) And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. (15) But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَاBut if they endeavor to make you associate with Me
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِيAllah commanded obedience to parents in anything other than disobedience to Allah, and commanded treating them with kindness, meaning with gentleness, good character, service, and maintaining ties, but with hatred and aversion for their disobedience to Allah.
And the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), when he warned his tribe, said: Save yourselves from the Fire. I cannot benefit you against Allah in anything, except that you have a kinship with me which I will fulfill despite your harm.
Source
شرح الدروس المهمة لعامة الأمة لابن باز [ مجموعة من المشايخ ]، فتاوى الشيخ عبد الرحمن البراك — islamhouse.com (10:21)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.