Advice for one whose child harms him and does not pray
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
Honorable Shaykh, may Allah grant you success. The questioner says: My son sometimes harms me with his words and sometimes does not pray. I have been unable to deal with him. Should I curse him? He says to me, “If you want to curse me, curse me with whatever you wish.” What is your advice to me and to him?
Answer:
By Allah, my brothers, most parents neglect their children and do not raise them. They do not want them to grow up, then they want them to obey them and be raised after they have grown up. This is not right. It is obligatory that you raised him from the start, that you accompanied him from the start, that you raised him on the religion and on maintaining the prayer.
So for you to expect him to return after he has grown up is difficult; this is not something you can rely on. But if you had accompanied him from the beginning with upbringing, taken him in hand, and stuck with him, Allah the Exalted would have guided him, because you did the cause. And now, do not curse him. Call upon Allah for his guidance, for Allah is near and responsive. Call upon Allah for his guidance instead of cursing him.
Honorable Shaykh, may Allah grant you success. The questioner says: My son sometimes harms me with his words and sometimes does not pray. I have been unable to deal with him. Should I curse him? He says to me, “If you want to curse me, curse me with whatever you wish.” What is your advice to me and to him?
Answer:
By Allah, my brothers, most parents neglect their children and do not raise them. They do not want them to grow up, then they want them to obey them and be raised after they have grown up. This is not right. It is obligatory that you raised him from the start, that you accompanied him from the start, that you raised him on the religion and on maintaining the prayer
Command your children to pray at seven, beat them for it at ten, and separate them in their beds.
مروا أولادكم بالصلاة لسبع واضربوهم عليها لعشر فرقوا بينهم في المضاجعSo for you to expect him to return after he has grown up is difficult; this is not something you can rely on. But if you had accompanied him from the beginning with upbringing, taken him in hand, and stuck with him, Allah the Exalted would have guided him, because you did the cause. And now, do not curse him. Call upon Allah for his guidance, for Allah is near and responsive. Call upon Allah for his guidance instead of cursing him.
Source
شرح إغاثة اللهفان من مصائد الشيطان لابن القيم، فصل في القلب المريض — islamhouse.com (1:12:41)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.