The Wife’s Waiver of Her Rights and Its Relation to Misyar Marriage

Question:
Honorable Shaykh! You mentioned that a wife may waive her rights to her husband. Does this not make misyar marriage permissible, since there is no difference between the two matters?

Answer:
It is permissible for a woman to waive her rights, but not every right. Not every right. Waiving the right to have a husband who is good to her is not permissible. If she says, “Look, the husband does not do anything,” or if she says, “You have no authority over me; I will come and go and manage my affairs, and you will not prevent me, and you have no authority over me,” this is permissible. Look, marriage involves the relinquishment of the man’s authority (qawwamah) over the woman, is that not so?
Yes. The second aspect is the one who protects his wife and safeguards her from being lost and from the encroachment of evil upon her if she is not with him. If he leaves her and she is not with you, and you do not know where she goes, where she runs, who she sits with, or who she goes with, is this not a great harm? He exposes his wife to danger because she is absent from him and not under his care. This is a danger in misyar marriage. And they stipulate that the husband does not take out loans, or…
Thirdly, the children. If the wife does not come to him and she has children from him, who will they be with? Who will take care of them? Who will raise them? Who will support them? She is a weak woman, confined, who does not care for them. She does not say, “I will give them toys.” It is the care of the children, their preservation, their upbringing, and the authority over them. Who takes charge of this? The woman? The woman is weak. There is no brother, or she leaves them with her relatives, who will favor you and your children. These are harms. So, if we look at the original ruling and the conditions are met, we say that misyar marriage is valid. But if we look at the harms that result from it and the evils that result from it, we say this is a matter that is not permissible. Yes, it is not permissible. And marriage is only for desire, only for marriage, with great benefits that are all discarded, and nothing remains except… rather, this is a valid meaning. So, because of the evils that result from it, we say it is not permissible. Yes.