Dividing between the obedient wife and the disobedient wife
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The questioner:
Honorable Shaykh, if a man has two wives, the first is obedient and the other is disobedient, is it permissible for him to give the first what he does not give the other, and to divide for her what he does not divide for the other?
The Shaykh:
It is not permissible to be harsh with an obedient wife more than with one who has a desire [for something], but rather he should do with her what the Shari'ah has guided him to: he should provide for her, then treat her gently, then strike her. If this does not work, then it is necessary that two arbitrators look into the matter of the husband and wife, either to reconcile them or to separate them. Send [them] to a good [place].[An-Nisa 4:35] As for being harsh with strong [women], this is not permissible.
The questioner:
Honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh:
[An-Nisa 4:35] Islam has not left anything [unaddressed].
Honorable Shaykh, if a man has two wives, the first is obedient and the other is disobedient, is it permissible for him to give the first what he does not give the other, and to divide for her what he does not divide for the other?
The Shaykh:
It is not permissible to be harsh with an obedient wife more than with one who has a desire [for something], but rather he should do with her what the Shari'ah has guided him to: he should provide for her, then treat her gently, then strike her. If this does not work, then it is necessary that two arbitrators look into the matter of the husband and wife, either to reconcile them or to separate them. Send [them] to a good [place].
from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them
مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَاThe questioner:
Honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh:
And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people.
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا
Source
شرح بلوغ المرام من أدلة الأحكام [ صالح الفوزان ]، باب القسم — islamhouse.com (58:33)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.