If the suitor or the one who contracted the marriage backs out, does he get back what he paid to the woman?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good and do you well. From the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, the voice of the young man Hudhayfah Sabir Muhammad sent a message saying: I am a young man, twenty-eight years old, from the Arab Republic of Egypt, and I work in Jordan for a fixed period. Before I traveled to Jordan, while I was in my country, Egypt, I proposed to a girl who is six years old. Then we recited al-Fatihah, and I brought her a gold necklace and a sum of one thousand and five hundred Egyptian pounds, plus other items worth five hundred pounds, meaning the total is two thousand Egyptian pounds. After she wore the gold, in this state she became my fiancée, but the marriage contract was not concluded; I mean the marriage contract, meaning the process was only reciting al-Fatihah and an engagement. After a month of my engagement to her, I found, for several reasons, that she is not suitable as a wife for me. So I confronted her family with that, and their response was that I should leave everything with them, as long as the refusal is from my side. What is your opinion on this matter? May Allah reward you with good. Is the gold and everything I spent their right, or is it my right? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
This is a dispute between two parties that is referred to the Shari'ah court. However, it is well known among the scholars of knowledge that if the matter is merely an engagement and no contract has taken place, then if he renounces the marriage with her, he reclaims everything he paid to her. But if the contract has been concluded between them and he divorced her before consummation, he reclaims half of what he paid to her. And if he consummated the marriage with her, secluded with her, and had access to her, then the full mahr is established for her due to his consummation with her. The result is that this is a judicial matter that is referred to the Shari'ah courts. Yes.
The questioner:
Usually, there is seclusion, but consummation may be delayed. Shaykh Salih, may Allah preserve you?
The Shaykh:
Seclusion is not sufficient. Consummation or intercourse is necessary, according to many scholars of knowledge. Intercourse is also necessary.
The questioner:
Mm.
The Shaykh:
There is strong disagreement on this issue. So mere customary seclusion after the contract is not sufficient to establish the full mahr. As for seclusion before the contract, it is forbidden. It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman who is not lawful for him.
May Allah reward you with good and do you well. From the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, the voice of the young man Hudhayfah Sabir Muhammad sent a message saying: I am a young man, twenty-eight years old, from the Arab Republic of Egypt, and I work in Jordan for a fixed period. Before I traveled to Jordan, while I was in my country, Egypt, I proposed to a girl who is six years old. Then we recited al-Fatihah, and I brought her a gold necklace and a sum of one thousand and five hundred Egyptian pounds, plus other items worth five hundred pounds, meaning the total is two thousand Egyptian pounds. After she wore the gold, in this state she became my fiancée, but the marriage contract was not concluded; I mean the marriage contract, meaning the process was only reciting al-Fatihah and an engagement. After a month of my engagement to her, I found, for several reasons, that she is not suitable as a wife for me. So I confronted her family with that, and their response was that I should leave everything with them, as long as the refusal is from my side. What is your opinion on this matter? May Allah reward you with good. Is the gold and everything I spent their right, or is it my right? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
This is a dispute between two parties that is referred to the Shari'ah court. However, it is well known among the scholars of knowledge that if the matter is merely an engagement and no contract has taken place, then if he renounces the marriage with her, he reclaims everything he paid to her. But if the contract has been concluded between them and he divorced her before consummation, he reclaims half of what he paid to her. And if he consummated the marriage with her, secluded with her, and had access to her, then the full mahr is established for her due to his consummation with her. The result is that this is a judicial matter that is referred to the Shari'ah courts. Yes.
The questioner:
Usually, there is seclusion, but consummation may be delayed. Shaykh Salih, may Allah preserve you?
The Shaykh:
Seclusion is not sufficient. Consummation or intercourse is necessary, according to many scholars of knowledge. Intercourse is also necessary.
The questioner:
Mm.
The Shaykh:
There is strong disagreement on this issue. So mere customary seclusion after the contract is not sufficient to establish the full mahr. As for seclusion before the contract, it is forbidden. It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman who is not lawful for him.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، 4830- تراجع الخاطب أو العاقد عن الزواج هل يسترد به ما دفعه للمرأة؟ - الشيخ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.