Guidance for Husbands in Dealing with Their Wives
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Question : Is there any guidance, Honorable Shaykh, for husbands? Some husbands tyrannize over their wives over some trivial matters?
Answer : What I see is that it is obligatory for each of the spouses to treat the other with kindness.
The saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:[An-Nisa 4:19] and His saying, the Exalted: [Al-Baqarah 2:228] This degree is the authority that Allah the Exalted granted to the husband, and it does not mean tyrannizing without right. Indeed, Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said: [An-Nisa 4:34].
He concluded the verse by saying, "Indeed, Allah is the Most High, the Great," meaning that He, Glorified and Exalted is He, possesses the Most High status and majesty. So it is not your right to share with your Lord, Mighty and Majestic, in the Most High status and majesty over these women who have been obedient in the known manner. My advice to each of the spouses is to treat the other with kindness so that the marriage remains happiness, comfort, and perfection.
Especially if they have children, for the appearance of discord between the father and mother in front of the children will have negative repercussions for the children. So a person should seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan when anger occurs. And he should control himself. For this reason, a man said, "O Messenger of Allah, advise me." He said, "Do not get angry." He repeated it several times, saying, "Do not get angry." Yes. May Allah reward you and bless you, Honorable Shaykh, for this guidance. We have a call with us now.
Answer : What I see is that it is obligatory for each of the spouses to treat the other with kindness.
The saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:
And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًاAnd due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌBut if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًاHe concluded the verse by saying, "Indeed, Allah is the Most High, the Great," meaning that He, Glorified and Exalted is He, possesses the Most High status and majesty. So it is not your right to share with your Lord, Mighty and Majestic, in the Most High status and majesty over these women who have been obedient in the known manner. My advice to each of the spouses is to treat the other with kindness so that the marriage remains happiness, comfort, and perfection.
Especially if they have children, for the appearance of discord between the father and mother in front of the children will have negative repercussions for the children. So a person should seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan when anger occurs. And he should control himself. For this reason, a man said, "O Messenger of Allah, advise me." He said, "Do not get angry." He repeated it several times, saying, "Do not get angry." Yes. May Allah reward you and bless you, Honorable Shaykh, for this guidance. We have a call with us now.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، 2583- هل للزوج ان يمنع زوجته من الذهاب إلى اهلها أو محادثتهم وتوجيه من الشيخ لتسلط بعض الأزواج — youtube.com (1:42)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.