What is the ruling on preparing food for the family of the deceased?

The questioner : This questioner asks: How is food prepared for the family of the deceased? And is it permissible for their relatives to eat with them?

The Shaykh : Regarding preparing food for the family of the deceased: if the family is occupied due to the calamity and distracted from preparing food for themselves, it is recommended (mustahabb) for one who learns of their calamity to send them food. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when the news of the death of Ja'far ibn Abi Talib reached him: . The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) statement, "for they have been visited by something that occupies them," indicates that this is not recommended in an absolute sense, but rather it is recommended when the family of the deceased is occupied and unable to prepare food.
However, if the situation is normal, as is common in our time, it is not recommended to send them food, because the ruling follows its cause, whether it exists or not. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far," did he say it because a member of their family had died? No, he did not say that. He said, "for they have been visited by something that occupies them." Accordingly, if there is no occupation, there is no [need for] food. If food is prepared and sent to the family of the deceased in the prescribed manner, they may eat from it. If any of their relatives are with them, he may eat with them. As for inviting people to it, this is a form of wailing (niyaha). Therefore, it is disliked (makruh) for the family of the deceased to prepare food and invite people to it. By this, we know—or by this it is known—that what some Muslims do today when a member of their family dies, where they prepare food, coffee, or tea and gather people to it, is considered wailing and a religious innovation (bid'ah). Yes.