The virtue of the parents' dinner over giving money in charity

The questioner : which is commonly known as the parents' dinner, and whether it is better than giving money in charity, or giving what people love from provisions and the like? Please inform us, may Allah reward you.

The Shaykh : Yes. "The parents' dinner" is a modern term. Its origin is that people in the past had poverty and need, and they rejoiced in food when they obtained it. It is well known that Ramadan is among the best times for charity, so people were keen to feed people in Ramadan. They would prepare food for the poor who would come and have dinner, and much good would result from this.
As for the present time, it is well known that food now, praise be to Allah, is something most people do not need. In fact, sometimes you invite people to come for food and no one responds, because everyone is self-sufficient, praise be to Allah. So the benefit of food now is little. If he spent what he spends on food on giving money to the poor, it would be more beneficial, more useful, and better. As for what some people do now, which is also a recent innovation, they prepare feasts every day and slaughter animals, saying this is a "dinner." If they intend by this to draw near to Allah, it is undoubtedly a bid'ah (religious innovation), because this was not the practice of the Salaf (the earliest generations). Slaughtering is not an act of worship except in the case of the 'Id sacrifice, the sacrificial animal for the pilgrimage to the Holy House, and the 'aqiqah (the sacrifice for a newborn). As for Ramadan, there is no slaughtering in it for the purpose of drawing near to Allah the Exalted; there is only slaughtering for eating. This is a matter I heard recently where people from the neighborhood gather, and they slaughter one or two animals every night at one person's house. In reality, these are feasts, not charity, and they involve the destruction and waste of wealth, which is well known. Then the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) guided us to make du'a' (supplication) for the dead and to make the deeds for ourselves. Leave the righteous deeds for yourself: prayer, recitation of the Qur'an, and charity. Make them for yourself, and make the du'a' for the deceased. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And it is strange that some people, when they give charity for themselves, are weaker in their sincerity and hope for reward than when they give charity for a deceased person.
You find that when he gives charity for the deceased, he feels that he will be rewarded for it and feels that there is nearness to Allah in it. But when he gives charity for himself, it becomes weaker in his estimation. This is undoubtedly due to ignorance. So, my brother, benefit yourself and make du'a' for your deceased ones. This is what is prescribed.