The ruling on marriage according to specific rituals
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Question:
The questioner says: In some areas of our country, marriage is conducted in the following manner. The mahr (bridal gift) is fixed at a gold piece weighing six grams, no more and no less. The marriage is performed according to specific rituals, one of which is that the bride’s family does not eat from the groom’s family until after the consummation of the marriage. It is known that all the conditions of marriage are present, and in all these actions, they are acting on the advice of the shaykh of their tariqah (Sufi order), believing that if they do not do so, calamities will befall them. The question is: What is the ruling on a couple who married in this way and are not pleased with it?
Answer:
Marriage is valid if the contract is completed with its conditions met and free from its impediments, through offer and acceptance. The offer comes from the wali (guardian) and the acceptance from the husband or his agent. If the conditions of the validity of the contract are fulfilled, the contract is valid.
As for the matter of people’s customs regarding eating before or after the consummation, this is among the permissible matters. It does not enter into the issue of marriage. These are people’s customs, and they are among the permissible matters. It is permissible for them to eat food before the consummation, and it is permissible for them to eat food after the consummation. That is, they hold the walimah (wedding feast) before or after the consummation; there is no harm in that. These are customs, not acts of worship, nor are they contracts. They are people’s customs, and no one obligates people to follow a custom. Customs are according to what has become the norm among people in permissible matters. As for forbidden matters, they are not permissible. But permissible matters are according to people’s custom; if they advance them, delay them, or leave them and do nothing, there is no blame on them. However, if someone obligates people to follow a specific method, he does not obligate them with anything except what came in the Shari'ah. What came in the Shari'ah is what is obligatory. As for people’s customs, no one has authority over people to obligate them except Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, or His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).
The questioner says: In some areas of our country, marriage is conducted in the following manner. The mahr (bridal gift) is fixed at a gold piece weighing six grams, no more and no less. The marriage is performed according to specific rituals, one of which is that the bride’s family does not eat from the groom’s family until after the consummation of the marriage. It is known that all the conditions of marriage are present, and in all these actions, they are acting on the advice of the shaykh of their tariqah (Sufi order), believing that if they do not do so, calamities will befall them. The question is: What is the ruling on a couple who married in this way and are not pleased with it?
Answer:
Marriage is valid if the contract is completed with its conditions met and free from its impediments, through offer and acceptance. The offer comes from the wali (guardian) and the acceptance from the husband or his agent. If the conditions of the validity of the contract are fulfilled, the contract is valid.
As for the matter of people’s customs regarding eating before or after the consummation, this is among the permissible matters. It does not enter into the issue of marriage. These are people’s customs, and they are among the permissible matters. It is permissible for them to eat food before the consummation, and it is permissible for them to eat food after the consummation. That is, they hold the walimah (wedding feast) before or after the consummation; there is no harm in that. These are customs, not acts of worship, nor are they contracts. They are people’s customs, and no one obligates people to follow a custom. Customs are according to what has become the norm among people in permissible matters. As for forbidden matters, they are not permissible. But permissible matters are according to people’s custom; if they advance them, delay them, or leave them and do nothing, there is no blame on them. However, if someone obligates people to follow a specific method, he does not obligate them with anything except what came in the Shari'ah. What came in the Shari'ah is what is obligatory. As for people’s customs, no one has authority over people to obligate them except Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, or His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، ما حكم تحديد بلد ما للصداق؟ وما حكم العادات الغريبة في الزواج التي تتبعها قبيلة ما؟ للشيخ الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.