The Ruling on Exaggeration in Mahr and Its Impact on Youth

Question:
Another says: Exaggeration in mahr (bridal gift) has spread among our tribes, to the extent that a man may reach an age of over sixty years and take a wife through the practice of early betrothal for a girl of less than eight years old. This has led to the youth among us stopping from getting married, disappearing, and going to various countries to commit evil there. This is the subject of his question.

Answer:
What the questioner mentioned is a reality in many places, a trial involving the burden of wedding feasts, and the greed of the guardians or some of the guardians. There is no doubt that this is a mistake, a great mistake. Competing in the burden of wedding feasts is an abomination for the sake of their interests. It is obligatory for the guardians to fear Allah, to look into the interests of the women, and to be satisfied even with a small mahr if a suitable match comes. As for competing in the mahr to take money without caring, this is an abomination and not permissible for him. Even if it is his father, he has no right to withhold her for the sake of a large amount of money. Rather, when a suitable match comes, even with a small amount, he should marry her off and hasten to do so, because the purpose is to protect her, preserve her honor, help her in good, and help the Muslim community in good as well. In any case, many letters and pieces of advice have been issued on this matter by the Committee of Senior Scholars and by many scholars, and I have also issued much advice, illustration, and clarification of what is obligatory for Muslims on this matter. Letters have also been issued regarding early betrothal and its prohibition, and distributed throughout the country many times. But as it is said, there is no benefit in a wound for a dead person unless there is no advisor in his heart, and no one in his heart who is eager for good and guidance. A person does not benefit from what he hears, and it is not befitting for one who persists in his falsehood and does not care. The Qur'an is the greatest advice, the great Qur'an is the greatest advice and the greatest remembrance, and yet most of creation have left it behind, and have not obeyed except in the commands and prohibitions of the Qur'an, following their desires. Only the one who desires the truth, wants the truth, seeks the truth, and asks for it benefits from the advice. When he is advised, he accepts it, and when he is reminded, he remembers, because his intention is the truth and his goal is following the truth. So it is obligatory for the questioner and his group to fear Allah, to cooperate in righteousness and piety, and to advise one another. Their elders should take care of their foolish ones, and their prominent people should take care of their leaders, so that they cooperate in good. They should also seek the help of their scholars, judges, and rulers. This is a great matter, so that they marry off suitable matches even with a small mahr, and so that they do not compete in the large burdens that are not necessary. Rather, a small amount that does not harm the wife or the wife's family is sufficient. This is what Muslims should cooperate on among themselves. And if they know a person who is lax in this matter and withholds his daughters and sisters without right, they should stand against him, advise him, and direct him to good. Even if it leads to them complaining about him to the authority in their land so that he is restrained and so that he marries off his daughters and sisters to suitable matches, even through the court if the guardians do not accept the truth. We ask Allah for protection for everyone. This, if Allah wills, will be given more attention in the future, if Allah wills.