How should one deal with his brothers who are treated well by him, yet they reciprocate this kindness with ill treatment?
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Question:
He says: I have five brothers whom I treat with kindness, but they treat me the opposite way. Whenever I have any problem, I find them talking about me in gatherings. Even my father (may Allah guide him) did not try to support me, despite my adherence to the matters of my religion. And when they ask me for anything, I help them, but they refuse to help me. So what should I do with them, even though I pray for their well-being in every prayer?
Answer:
Continue in your dutifulness to your parents and your maintaining of ties with your relatives, even if they treat you badly. Allah the Exalted said:[Fussilat 41:34] [regarding] the evil deed. So this is with people; how much more so with your relatives or your parents? A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said to him: "I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off. I do good to them, but they do evil to me." He said (peace and blessings be upon him): "If Sahih Muslim 2558a
And he said (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 5991 Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:623 So you must continue in maintaining ties and speaking kindly. This is what is obligatory for you. As for them, they bear the consequences of what comes from them, and the sin is upon them. And you are rewarded for maintaining ties with them and doing good to them. Yes.
He says: I have five brothers whom I treat with kindness, but they treat me the opposite way. Whenever I have any problem, I find them talking about me in gatherings. Even my father (may Allah guide him) did not try to support me, despite my adherence to the matters of my religion. And when they ask me for anything, I help them, but they refuse to help me. So what should I do with them, even though I pray for their well-being in every prayer?
Answer:
Continue in your dutifulness to your parents and your maintaining of ties with your relatives, even if they treat you badly. Allah the Exalted said:
And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُIf it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them
كنت كما قلت فكأنما تسفهم المل، ولا يزال معك من الله ظهير عليهم.And he said (peace and blessings be upon him):
Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil
ليس الواصل بالمكافئ، ولكن الواصلthe one who, when his kinship is cut off, reconnects it.
من إذا قطعت رحمه وصلها
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، كيف يتعامل المرء مع إخوته الذين يحسن إليهم، وهم يقابلون هذا الإحسان بالإساءة؟ #فتاوى الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.