The Obligation of Justice Between Wives in Treatment and Maintenance
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
A message from Shaykh Salih from one of the sisters. The sender is Umm Muhammad from al-Dawasiir. Umm Muhammad says: My problem with my husband has existed since I married him until now, and I am forty years old. He is just a name for a husband, for he has no personality. He has an older sister who has no children, and she is the one who raised him. But after he married, she became the one who controls him and influences him. So I do not eat or drink except from under her hand, and he does not sleep with me except with her permission, and he does not invite guests except to her place. So I am just a servant in the house. He does not ask about me unless he wants something for himself, and if I am sick, he does not ask about me. So my life with him was in torment. After this sister of his grew old and became an old woman who does not control anything, he went and married a second woman. And he became inclined toward her in expenses, in the house, in sleeping, and in everything. And he became not coming to my house and my children except rarely. And I took to sleeping with my children because I did not find a man I could be comfortable with, and we stayed in this state for three months. And after that, he left six years ago with his second wife, and I am now living with my nine children. My question, Honorable Shaykh, is: Is there a sin on me or not? Despite the fact that I sent to him to return to his home and be just between me and his wife, or divorce me, but he did not respond to my words. Is there a sin on me, Honorable Shaykh, or not? And are my deeds and my prayers accepted despite the fact that he provides for his children, but as for me, he does not maintain me and has not divorced me? Guide us, Shaykh Salih. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
If what you say is true, then this man has made a great error in his negligence regarding the rights of his wife and her maintenance throughout these years. Allah the Exalted and Majestic commanded husbands to treat their wives with kindness. He said, "And live with them in kindness," and He said, "[Al-Baqarah 2:229]" So it is not permissible to hold a woman in the bond of marriage without fulfilling the rights that Allah has obligated for her upon him, because she is a captive with him. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Treat women well, for they are captive with you," meaning detained. So it is obligatory for the husband to fear Allah the Exalted and Majestic, and to give his wife her prescribed right of maintenance, housing, clothing, and sharing in the night, and not to leave her as the questioner described, neglected. And his spending on his children is something obligatory upon him, but it is also obligatory upon him to spend on his wife. So he is negligent in the right of his wife, unjust to her by withholding her maintenance, and unjust to her by not treating her well while she is in his bond. Allah the Exalted and Majestic says, "[An-Nisa 4:129]" His marrying another woman is something for which there is no blame on him. Allah the Exalted and Majestic permitted plural marriage, but with the condition of justice between them. He said, "[An-Nisa 4:3]" And the justice intended here is justice in the matters we mentioned: maintenance, clothing, housing, and sharing in the night. This is the justice that Allah the Exalted commanded. And as for if he inclines toward the other and leaves his first wife, then upon him is this warning that came from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), "Bulugh al-Maram 8:105" as a punishment for him and a humiliation for him before the people for the crime he committed. Yes. May Allah reward you with good and do you good.
The questioner:
How should she act, Shaykh Salih, in these examples?
The Shaykh:
She should be patient and seek reward from Allah, and remain with her children. Perhaps Allah will guide him. Yes.
The questioner:
If you see that the negotiation, that the call in the best manner, perhaps it will return to its normal state, the first sick state.
The Shaykh:
Just as she was patient in these past long years, so she should be patient, and the outcome is for the righteous.
A message from Shaykh Salih from one of the sisters. The sender is Umm Muhammad from al-Dawasiir. Umm Muhammad says: My problem with my husband has existed since I married him until now, and I am forty years old. He is just a name for a husband, for he has no personality. He has an older sister who has no children, and she is the one who raised him. But after he married, she became the one who controls him and influences him. So I do not eat or drink except from under her hand, and he does not sleep with me except with her permission, and he does not invite guests except to her place. So I am just a servant in the house. He does not ask about me unless he wants something for himself, and if I am sick, he does not ask about me. So my life with him was in torment. After this sister of his grew old and became an old woman who does not control anything, he went and married a second woman. And he became inclined toward her in expenses, in the house, in sleeping, and in everything. And he became not coming to my house and my children except rarely. And I took to sleeping with my children because I did not find a man I could be comfortable with, and we stayed in this state for three months. And after that, he left six years ago with his second wife, and I am now living with my nine children. My question, Honorable Shaykh, is: Is there a sin on me or not? Despite the fact that I sent to him to return to his home and be just between me and his wife, or divorce me, but he did not respond to my words. Is there a sin on me, Honorable Shaykh, or not? And are my deeds and my prayers accepted despite the fact that he provides for his children, but as for me, he does not maintain me and has not divorced me? Guide us, Shaykh Salih. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
If what you say is true, then this man has made a great error in his negligence regarding the rights of his wife and her maintenance throughout these years. Allah the Exalted and Majestic commanded husbands to treat their wives with kindness. He said, "And live with them in kindness," and He said, "
either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment
فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍSo do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging
فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِthen marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses
فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْThe Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Anyone who has two wives and inclines to one of them will come on the Day of Resurrection with a side (of his body) inclining."
صلى الله عليه وسلم في قوله من كانت له زوجتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلThe questioner:
How should she act, Shaykh Salih, in these examples?
The Shaykh:
She should be patient and seek reward from Allah, and remain with her children. Perhaps Allah will guide him. Yes.
The questioner:
If you see that the negotiation, that the call in the best manner, perhaps it will return to its normal state, the first sick state.
The Shaykh:
Just as she was patient in these past long years, so she should be patient, and the outcome is for the righteous.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، 4340- وجوب العدل بين الزوجات في العشرة والنفقة - الشيخ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com (0:11)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.