Divorce does not take effect before marriage
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Question: Before I got married, a disagreement arose between me and my father, and I said to him: "It is forbidden for me to marry a woman whose dowry you pay for." After about a year had passed, and after the disagreement between us had been resolved, my father approached the father of one of the girls and proposed her to me. At that time, we did not remember the prohibition I had previously issued. The marriage actually took place, and the wife gave birth to four children. What is the ruling in this case? Does the prohibition or divorce issued by a person before he marries have any effect on him after the marriage, or not? I note that I have already paid my father back what he spent on my marriage.
Answer: First: It is not permissible for you to become angry with your father, to argue with him, and for your anger to reach this degree, because the father has rights, and it is obligatory for
the son to be well-mannered with him, to submit to him, and to honor and respect him. As for what happened from you, you erred in it. You must repent to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), seek His forgiveness, and ask your father for forgiveness.
As for the oath you swore that your father would not pay anything, intending thereby to cut off his support, and you did not intend prohibition (tahrim), did not intend zihar, and did not intend divorce, but rather intended to prevent your father from paying anything because you were angry and wanted to cut off his support—if that was your intention, and it is evident from the circumstances between you and him—then you must expiate the oath (kaffarah yamin).Allah the Exalted said:[At-Tahrim 66:1] to His saying (Glorified and Exalted is He): [Al-Tahrim: 2] .
Question: But this was before the marriage contract was even made?
Answer: This is an oath; it is considered an oath, so he must expiate the oath.
However, if he intended zihar or divorce before marrying, this is a matter of disagreement among the scholars: does the zihar or divorce that precedes the contract take effect, or does it not take effect?By saying: "If I marry a woman, or if I marry so-and-so, she is to me like my mother's back."or he said: "If I marry a woman, or if I marry so-and-so, she is divorced." This is a matter of disagreement among the scholars: does the divorce and zihar that precede the contract take effect, or do they not take effect?
The position of the school of jurisprudence, as far as I know: The position of the school of jurisprudence, as far as I know, is that it does not take effect, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Ibn Majah 2081Da'if (Darussalam) ,Meaning: for the husband.
And this is in the case where he is not a husband when he makes the oath.
Likewise, there is no vow for a person regarding what he does not own, and he did not own anything at the time he uttered the words. Therefore, the correct view is that he owes nothing; neither divorce nor zihar takes effect if it is issued by him before the marriage contract.
The second opinion among the scholars: The second opinion among the scholars is that if he marries her, then the zihar or divorce he previously issued takes effect.
Answer: First: It is not permissible for you to become angry with your father, to argue with him, and for your anger to reach this degree, because the father has rights, and it is obligatory for
the son to be well-mannered with him, to submit to him, and to honor and respect him. As for what happened from you, you erred in it. You must repent to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), seek His forgiveness, and ask your father for forgiveness.
As for the oath you swore that your father would not pay anything, intending thereby to cut off his support, and you did not intend prohibition (tahrim), did not intend zihar, and did not intend divorce, but rather intended to prevent your father from paying anything because you were angry and wanted to cut off his support—if that was your intention, and it is evident from the circumstances between you and him—then you must expiate the oath (kaffarah yamin).Allah the Exalted said:
O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
يَاأَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَكَ تَبْتَغِي مَرْضَاةَ أَزْوَاجِكَ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌAllah has already ordained for you [Muslims] the dissolution of your oaths
قَدْ فَرَضَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ تَحِلَّةَ أَيْمَانِكُمْQuestion: But this was before the marriage contract was even made?
Answer: This is an oath; it is considered an oath, so he must expiate the oath.
However, if he intended zihar or divorce before marrying, this is a matter of disagreement among the scholars: does the zihar or divorce that precedes the contract take effect, or does it not take effect?By saying: "If I marry a woman, or if I marry so-and-so, she is to me like my mother's back."or he said: "If I marry a woman, or if I marry so-and-so, she is divorced." This is a matter of disagreement among the scholars: does the divorce and zihar that precede the contract take effect, or do they not take effect?
The position of the school of jurisprudence, as far as I know: The position of the school of jurisprudence, as far as I know, is that it does not take effect, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
Divorce belongs to the one who takes hold of the calf (i.e., her husband).
إنما الطلاق لمن أخذ بالساقAnd this is in the case where he is not a husband when he makes the oath.
Likewise, there is no vow for a person regarding what he does not own, and he did not own anything at the time he uttered the words. Therefore, the correct view is that he owes nothing; neither divorce nor zihar takes effect if it is issued by him before the marriage contract.
The second opinion among the scholars: The second opinion among the scholars is that if he marries her, then the zihar or divorce he previously issued takes effect.