It is reported from Imam al-Shafi'i that when a person mentions bad speech, he should phrase it in the third person and use euphemism; for example, saying: "He is a disbeliever" to someone who said
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The questioner : I say: Perhaps in the report from Imam al-Shafi'i, a person—for example—when in a lesson or during conversation, if he comes across a word that harms the speaker himself, he should use euphemism, for example, or mean that he speaks with a word that he does not intend for himself, like, for example, a man... for example, his wife, my wife, such and such; he says—for example—so-and-so, or instead of saying "he"... for example, the word such and such, he says: "He is a disbeliever," so in the case of such bad speech, he speaks with the word of backbiting or with the word of the other, meaning?
The Shaykh: Yes.
Another questioner : What is the question?
The Shaykh : What is the question? May Allah guide you?
The questioner : Do you see here whether this is considered... sometimes the meaning is not understood by those present?
The Shaykh : It is not understood?
The questioner: Ah, yes.
The Shaykh : If it is not understood, he does not speak with it. The soft language, hey, it needs people to be soft!
The questioner : Yes.
The questioner : Regarding—may Allah preserve you—what you called the soft language? Meaning, this implies an admission from your speech; so do we say that the original rule is to use this wording? He says—for example—instead of saying: "So-and-so said: I am a disbeliever," he says: "He is a disbeliever," based on the hadith:Riyad as-Salihin 942 about the funeral if it was not righteous, Riyad as-Salihin 942, and he did not say: ; so do you see that the original rule is this usage, or what is the original rule, meaning?
The Shaykh : The original rule is to employ wisdom, and wisdom differs from place to place, and the Shari'ah came with this, and this is a rule, meaning; softening the expression is the original rule, and the opposite is contrary to the original rule, except that here the issue enters: "Speak to people according to the capacity of their minds."
The Shaykh: Yes.
Another questioner : What is the question?
The Shaykh : What is the question? May Allah guide you?
The questioner : Do you see here whether this is considered... sometimes the meaning is not understood by those present?
The Shaykh : It is not understood?
The questioner: Ah, yes.
The Shaykh : If it is not understood, he does not speak with it. The soft language, hey, it needs people to be soft!
The questioner : Yes.
The questioner : Regarding—may Allah preserve you—what you called the soft language? Meaning, this implies an admission from your speech; so do we say that the original rule is to use this wording? He says—for example—instead of saying: "So-and-so said: I am a disbeliever," he says: "He is a disbeliever," based on the hadith:
Woe to it. Where are you taking it?
يا ويلَها ، أين تذهبون بها ؟!Woe to it. Where are you taking it?
يا ويلها ، أين تذهبون بها ؟!Woe to me
يا ويليThe Shaykh : The original rule is to employ wisdom, and wisdom differs from place to place, and the Shari'ah came with this, and this is a rule, meaning; softening the expression is the original rule, and the opposite is contrary to the original rule, except that here the issue enters: "Speak to people according to the capacity of their minds."
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.