Does divorce or declaring a wife forbidden take effect if intended as a threat?
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Question: I once swore an oath regarding my wife, saying: "By the Great Allah, if you do not go to our house today, you are divorced." She was at her father's house in a state of post-natal bleeding, and five days had not yet passed since her delivery. This was due to a misunderstanding that arose between me and her father. I did not intend to divorce her, but I intended for her to fear for herself regarding the divorce and go to our house, leaving her father's house. However, after I calmed down, I reproached myself for this oath, and out of fear that she might fall ill during her journey, the matter is that this trip to our house did not take place.
After several years had passed, and because of her excessive talk on a subject I did not wish to listen to, I swore an oath over her, saying: "By the Great Allah, if you do not stop talking about this subject now, you are divorced." But she continued to talk. My intention was also to prevent her from talking and to frighten her with divorce, not to actually divorce her, but to make her obey me by remaining silent.
So, do these two oaths constitute an oath upon me, or a revocable divorce, or both an oath and a divorce? Also, as the years passed, I swore over her again that if she acted in any matter without consulting me, she would be forbidden to me like my mother and my sister. I also intended to threaten her so that she would not act without consulting me and would obey me. Is this zihar or an oath? Please inform us about this, may Allah reward you with good.
Answer: This behavior is not befitting of you. Rather, one should be careful and not rush to divorce, nor to declaring a wife forbidden. However, since the reality is as you described, and your intention was only to frighten her and urge her to comply with your command, then all three of these incidents are ruled as oaths, each one of them being in the ruling of an oath: the first divorce, the second divorce, and the final declaration of being forbidden, all are in the ruling of an oath.
You must pay the expiation for the oath for these three incidents. So, you owe three expiations, one expiation of an oath for each incident. This is feeding ten poor people, giving each poor person half a sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg) of the staple food of the land, such as dates or otherwise, which is approximately one and a half kilograms. Or clothing them with what is sufficient for prayer, or something better than that, such as an izar (lower garment) and a rida' (upper garment), like a shirt and a turban, which is sufficient for each one. Or if you host them for dinner or lunch in your house, that is also sufficient.
You must repent to Allah for the prohibition; because it is not permissible to prohibit what Allah has made lawful . And what we told you is the strongest and most correct of the opinions of the scholars, that in this case there is an expiation for an oath, and no divorce or prohibition attaches to you. This is the stronger of the scholars' opinions in these three matters. We ask Allah for guidance for us and for you.
After several years had passed, and because of her excessive talk on a subject I did not wish to listen to, I swore an oath over her, saying: "By the Great Allah, if you do not stop talking about this subject now, you are divorced." But she continued to talk. My intention was also to prevent her from talking and to frighten her with divorce, not to actually divorce her, but to make her obey me by remaining silent.
So, do these two oaths constitute an oath upon me, or a revocable divorce, or both an oath and a divorce? Also, as the years passed, I swore over her again that if she acted in any matter without consulting me, she would be forbidden to me like my mother and my sister. I also intended to threaten her so that she would not act without consulting me and would obey me. Is this zihar or an oath? Please inform us about this, may Allah reward you with good.
Answer: This behavior is not befitting of you. Rather, one should be careful and not rush to divorce, nor to declaring a wife forbidden. However, since the reality is as you described, and your intention was only to frighten her and urge her to comply with your command, then all three of these incidents are ruled as oaths, each one of them being in the ruling of an oath: the first divorce, the second divorce, and the final declaration of being forbidden, all are in the ruling of an oath.
You must pay the expiation for the oath for these three incidents. So, you owe three expiations, one expiation of an oath for each incident. This is feeding ten poor people, giving each poor person half a sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg) of the staple food of the land, such as dates or otherwise, which is approximately one and a half kilograms. Or clothing them with what is sufficient for prayer, or something better than that, such as an izar (lower garment) and a rida' (upper garment), like a shirt and a turban, which is sufficient for each one. Or if you host them for dinner or lunch in your house, that is also sufficient.
You must repent to Allah for the prohibition; because it is not permissible to prohibit what Allah has made lawful . And what we told you is the strongest and most correct of the opinions of the scholars, that in this case there is an expiation for an oath, and no divorce or prohibition attaches to you. This is the stronger of the scholars' opinions in these three matters. We ask Allah for guidance for us and for you.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.