The ruling on one who swears by divorce not to forgive his brother
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Question:
His second question says: There are two full brothers who had a quarrel over money, and a group came to mediate. They asked the younger one to give the older one some money and for them to reach a mutual agreement, but he got angry and said: "Three divorces, I will not forgive him, neither in this world nor in the Hereafter." So what is his obligation now? And does the divorce take effect if he forgives his brother?
Answer:
It was not befitting for this Muslim to rush into divorce. He should have appreciated the brothers who came to mediate, recognized their virtue, and acknowledged the nobility of their intention, as they are worthy of appreciation and recognition for their merit in coming to reconcile. Allah has prescribed reconciliation for us. He said, (peace and blessings be upon him): : [An-Nisa: 114]. It is also mentioned in the hadith the encouragement to reconcile between people, and Allah says, (Glorified and Exalted is He): [Al-Anfal: 1]. So it was befitting for both of them to appreciate the good intention of this group, especially the younger one, for the right of the older one over him is great.
As for what has already happened, his intention must be examined. If his intention in the divorce was to prevent himself from forgiving his brother, and it was not his intention to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath, and he owes its expiation, which is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he is unable to do so, he fasts for three days. This is the obligatory ruling in this matter if the one who divorced only intended to prevent himself from forgiving and did not intend to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother. With this intention, his divorce is considered an oath according to the most correct of the scholars' opinions, and he owes its expiation if he forgives his brother. It is better for him to forgive his brother, maintain his family ties, and seek refuge in Allah from Satan, even if his brother had wronged him. Suppose the older brother had wronged him; forgiving the older brother and relinquishing his right is better for him in this world and the Hereafter. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the authentic hadith:Sahih al-Bukhari 5991 This is the ruling in this matter if his intention was to prevent himself from forgiving his brother and he did not intend to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother.
However, if his intention was to separate from his wife, intending to prevent himself and to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother—meaning he intends to prevent himself from forgiving and also intends to separate from her, and that the divorce will take effect if he forgives his brother—then in this case, he should forgive his brother, and one divorce takes effect on him, and he should take her back. Because three divorces pronounced in one phrase are considered one according to the correct of the scholars' opinions. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the hadith of Ibn Abbas in Sahih Muslim that three divorces, if pronounced in one phrase, are considered one. So he has the right to take her back. If he forgives his brother, only one divorce takes effect from this phrase, and he may take her back during the waiting period by saying: "I have taken back my wife," or "I have retained my wife," or "I have returned my wife." He must have two witnesses testify to this; this is the Sunnah, to have two just witnesses testify to this taking back.
This is what is required if he had not divorced her twice before. But if he had divorced her twice before, this would be the third, and there would be no right to take her back. But if he had not divorced her twice, and he intended to effect the divorce, then he should forgive his brother, one divorce takes effect, and he should take back his wife, and praise be to Allah. Reconciling with his brother is easier and better for him than the matter of the divorce if it takes effect, for its affair does not harm as long as he has room to take her back and has not divorced her twice before. It is better for him to forgive his brother, even if a divorce takes effect on his wife, for its affair is easy, praise be to Allah, and reconciling with his brother is a great importance and a great act of devotion if his brother is one of the people of good and faith among the Muslims.
As for if his brother is not a Muslim, or is one who displays open sinfulness, disobedience, and major sins, then leaving him and not reconciling may be better for his brother so that he is safe from his evil and the corruption or disbelief he has. But as long as his brother is a Muslim who is decent, reconciling with him is required, and it is maintaining family ties. Even if a divorce takes effect, it does not prevent him from taking back his wife. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you. Suppose he intended to effect the divorce if he forgave his brother, and indeed the ruling, as you have graciously stated, is that a divorce takes effect on him. But if he did not know this ruling until after the waiting period had ended, how should he proceed?
The Shaykh: Meaning: he forgave his brother?
The presenter: He intended to effect the divorce if he forgave his brother, and you graciously stated that one divorce takes effect on him in this case if he forgave his brother?
The Shaykh: It takes effect from him at the time of forgiveness; it is not prior. The divorce takes effect at the time of forgiveness.
The presenter: And not at the time of utterance?
The Shaykh: No. At the time of forgiveness.
The presenter: At the time of forgiveness?
The Shaykh: The waiting period begins from the time of forgiveness, and the divorce takes effect from the time of forgiveness.
The presenter: I mean, if he did not know this ruling until after the divorce took place and he forgave his brother, and her waiting period ended?
The Shaykh: He did not take her back, meaning?
The presenter: He did not take her back.
The Shaykh: It is valid with a new contract; he marries her anew if he had only divorced her once, or only this divorce in which he forgave his brother. Yes.
The presenter: Meaning: if it was the first or second, he takes her back with a new contract if the waiting period has ended and he did not take her back?
The Shaykh: Yes.
The presenter: May Allah bless you.
His second question says: There are two full brothers who had a quarrel over money, and a group came to mediate. They asked the younger one to give the older one some money and for them to reach a mutual agreement, but he got angry and said: "Three divorces, I will not forgive him, neither in this world nor in the Hereafter." So what is his obligation now? And does the divorce take effect if he forgives his brother?
Answer:
It was not befitting for this Muslim to rush into divorce. He should have appreciated the brothers who came to mediate, recognized their virtue, and acknowledged the nobility of their intention, as they are worthy of appreciation and recognition for their merit in coming to reconcile. Allah has prescribed reconciliation for us. He said, (peace and blessings be upon him): :
No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people
لا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلَّا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِSo fear Allah and amend that which is between you
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِكُمْAs for what has already happened, his intention must be examined. If his intention in the divorce was to prevent himself from forgiving his brother, and it was not his intention to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath, and he owes its expiation, which is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he is unable to do so, he fasts for three days. This is the obligatory ruling in this matter if the one who divorced only intended to prevent himself from forgiving and did not intend to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother. With this intention, his divorce is considered an oath according to the most correct of the scholars' opinions, and he owes its expiation if he forgives his brother. It is better for him to forgive his brother, maintain his family ties, and seek refuge in Allah from Satan, even if his brother had wronged him. Suppose the older brother had wronged him; forgiving the older brother and relinquishing his right is better for him in this world and the Hereafter. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the authentic hadith:
Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.
ليس الواصل بالمكافي، ولكن الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلهاHowever, if his intention was to separate from his wife, intending to prevent himself and to separate from his wife if he forgave his brother—meaning he intends to prevent himself from forgiving and also intends to separate from her, and that the divorce will take effect if he forgives his brother—then in this case, he should forgive his brother, and one divorce takes effect on him, and he should take her back. Because three divorces pronounced in one phrase are considered one according to the correct of the scholars' opinions. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the hadith of Ibn Abbas in Sahih Muslim that three divorces, if pronounced in one phrase, are considered one. So he has the right to take her back. If he forgives his brother, only one divorce takes effect from this phrase, and he may take her back during the waiting period by saying: "I have taken back my wife," or "I have retained my wife," or "I have returned my wife." He must have two witnesses testify to this; this is the Sunnah, to have two just witnesses testify to this taking back.
This is what is required if he had not divorced her twice before. But if he had divorced her twice before, this would be the third, and there would be no right to take her back. But if he had not divorced her twice, and he intended to effect the divorce, then he should forgive his brother, one divorce takes effect, and he should take back his wife, and praise be to Allah. Reconciling with his brother is easier and better for him than the matter of the divorce if it takes effect, for its affair does not harm as long as he has room to take her back and has not divorced her twice before. It is better for him to forgive his brother, even if a divorce takes effect on his wife, for its affair is easy, praise be to Allah, and reconciling with his brother is a great importance and a great act of devotion if his brother is one of the people of good and faith among the Muslims.
As for if his brother is not a Muslim, or is one who displays open sinfulness, disobedience, and major sins, then leaving him and not reconciling may be better for his brother so that he is safe from his evil and the corruption or disbelief he has. But as long as his brother is a Muslim who is decent, reconciling with him is required, and it is maintaining family ties. Even if a divorce takes effect, it does not prevent him from taking back his wife. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you. Suppose he intended to effect the divorce if he forgave his brother, and indeed the ruling, as you have graciously stated, is that a divorce takes effect on him. But if he did not know this ruling until after the waiting period had ended, how should he proceed?
The Shaykh: Meaning: he forgave his brother?
The presenter: He intended to effect the divorce if he forgave his brother, and you graciously stated that one divorce takes effect on him in this case if he forgave his brother?
The Shaykh: It takes effect from him at the time of forgiveness; it is not prior. The divorce takes effect at the time of forgiveness.
The presenter: And not at the time of utterance?
The Shaykh: No. At the time of forgiveness.
The presenter: At the time of forgiveness?
The Shaykh: The waiting period begins from the time of forgiveness, and the divorce takes effect from the time of forgiveness.
The presenter: I mean, if he did not know this ruling until after the divorce took place and he forgave his brother, and her waiting period ended?
The Shaykh: He did not take her back, meaning?
The presenter: He did not take her back.
The Shaykh: It is valid with a new contract; he marries her anew if he had only divorced her once, or only this divorce in which he forgave his brother. Yes.
The presenter: Meaning: if it was the first or second, he takes her back with a new contract if the waiting period has ended and he did not take her back?
The Shaykh: Yes.
The presenter: May Allah bless you.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.