The Ruling on a Woman Requesting Divorce and the Ruling on Divorcing a Menstruating Woman

A message was received by the program from one of the female listeners, who says: I got married when I was thirteen years old, and I was ignorant of the matters of marriage and the husband's rights. I often asked him for a divorce, and this happened from me many times until he was forced to say on one of the occasions: You are divorced, you are divorced, you are divorced. And after four months, on that day when he wrote the divorce paper, and two witnesses testified to my divorce, she was menstruating. She asks about the ruling on the divorce in this state, Shaykh Abdul Aziz?
Answer: First: It is obligatory for the woman to fear Allah, to treat her husband with kindness, and not to harm him by requesting divorce or by other forms of harm such as cursing, insulting, and disobeying. All of this is not permissible as long as the husband is fulfilling his rights toward her. So it is obligatory for her to fulfill his rights as well. Allah the Exalted says: [Surat al-Nisa: 19], and He says (peace and blessings be upon him) : [Surat al-Baqarah: 228]. So she must treat him with kindness, and he must treat her with kindness, with good words and beautiful actions, in the bedroom, in the house, and in all circumstances. She says good words to him, and he says good words to her, and she fulfills what is obligatory of obedience in his house, in serving him, in obeying him in the bedroom, and in other matters that Allah has made permissible.
And he likewise treats her in the same way, with good words, good conduct, and providing for her as Allah has commanded, and other aspects of kind treatment. She has no right to request divorce while things are going well; in fact, this is not permissible. However, if the situation is different, such as if he mistreats her, or if Allah has not written love for him in her heart, for example: she hates him and cannot fulfill his rights because of the hatred, then there is no harm in her informing him of that and requesting a divorce from him, so that she does not neglect the obligation. If he permits it, praise be to Allah; otherwise, she must be patient until Allah makes a way out.
As for the divorce that occurred during menstruation, there is scholarly disagreement on this. The majority of scholars hold that the divorce takes effect, and this is the view of the majority of scholars. The second view is that it does not take effect during menstruation, nor during post-natal bleeding, nor during a period of purity in which the husband had intercourse with her. This is based on the established hadith of Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) in the two Sahihs, that he divorced his wife while she was menstruating, and that was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), who became angry and disapproved of it, and ordered him to take her back and keep her until she becomes pure, then menstruates, then becomes pure again. Then, if he wishes, he keeps her, and if he wishes, he divorces her before touching her. This indicates that divorce during menstruation and post-natal bleeding is disapproved, and likewise during the period of purity in which he had intercourse with her. The Sunnah is to divorce her during a period of purity in which he did not have intercourse with her, or during her pregnancy. For this reason, in the other wording: .
So the correct view is that it does not take effect in this state, even though the view of the minority and the majority is that it takes effect. But the view of the minority is more correct in this matter because of this authentic hadith. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you. It seems our sister, being a wife at the age of thirteen, bears all these mistakes regarding this matter?
The Shaykh: There is no blame. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married Aisha when she was seven years old, and consummated the marriage when she was nine years old, so the matter is broad in this regard. But her family should educate her if they want to marry her off at this age. They must educate her, guide her, and explain to her the husband's rights, and that she has such and such and such, so that she is fully aware. Otherwise, they should not rush until she gains knowledge, whether she is fifteen, sixteen, or seventeen. That is, they should marry her off at appropriate times when they see that she is capable of it. If they want to hasten because a suitable suitor has proposed and they fear missing out on the suitable man, they fear losing the good man, they should seize the good man, even if she is thirteen. But they must educate her and guide her so that she knows what to do with her husband. May Allah grant everyone guidance. Yes.