My mother holds a grudge against my cousin and dislikes maintaining ties with her. Is it a sin for me to give her gifts without her knowledge?

Question:
Our neighbor is my cousin; only the partition wall separates her from us. Her financial situation is weak, and she has children. She is kind and hardworking, but my mother does not like her as a result of a dispute that occurred between them. Sometimes I give her some food without my mother’s knowledge. If my mother knew, she would be very angry. Please guide us: Is it forbidden for me to give her anything given the situation described, or is it permissible? May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
She is one of her neighbors. One of her neighbors, and she says she is also her cousin. It is obligatory for Muslims to be good neighbors. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, commanded good neighborliness, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded good neighborliness. There are three types of neighbors, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “May Allah have mercy on…” A neighbor has three rights: he is the close Muslim neighbor, who has the right of Islam, the right of neighborliness, and the right of kinship. A neighbor has two rights: he is the Muslim neighbor who is not a close relative, who has the right of neighborliness and the right of Islam. And a neighbor has one right: he is the disbeliever neighbor, who has the right of neighborliness. So the neighbor has a right. What the questioner mentioned about the situation of her mother with the neighbor, with their neighbor, is a great error. And it is disobedience to Allah and His Messenger. Psychological matters are not permissible to override matters of religion, matters of worship, and legal rights. It is obligatory for her to reconcile with her neighbor and to be tolerant toward her, and for the psychological dispute and misunderstanding between them to be resolved. Because reconciliation and forgiving the one who erred are among the characteristics of faith and the attributes of the believers. And this does not negate the right of neighborliness. The fact that there is some misunderstanding and psychological issues between your mother and your neighbor does not negate the right of neighborliness. So it is obligatory to honor the neighbor and to do good to him, and to give him a gift. And if he is in need, he is helped. And regarding what the questioner mentioned about her being kind to this close neighbor in terms of kinship, yes, yes. This is an obligatory matter. Even if this angers her mother, obedience to the parent is only in what is good, not in disobedience. So harming the neighbor, or diminishing any of his rights, is disobedience, and the mother is not to be obeyed in that; because the parents are not to be obeyed in disobedience to Allah. Likewise, no creature is to be obeyed in disobedience to the Creator. So continue in being kind to the neighbor, and try to remove what is between your mother and this woman who is your neighbor and close to you. Try to remove this by reconciling between them. Yes. May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.