What is your guidance for the father who forgets that his son wants to support himself, and for the son who forgets that his father spends and provides for him?
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The questioner:
Shaykh Salih, if you would be so kind, some fathers forget this issue; they forget that the son has needs and that he wants to support himself. And some sons, on the other hand, forget that the father spends on them and provides for them, as you mentioned. We would love it if you would be kind enough to give guidance to both parties. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
Yes, the guidance for both parties is that each of them must be moderate. If the father is providing for his son and meeting his needs, as we mentioned, he may take from the son’s money. The second case is if the son has surplus money beyond his needs; may the father take from him, especially if the father is in need of it? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “You and your wealth belong to your father.”
So the father has no right to be stingy with his son, and the son has no right to withhold dutifulness toward his father and kindness to his father in any form of kindness. This includes giving him what he has in abundance and what he uses to pay off his debts, if he has any, and what he needs for the maintenance of his household. This is part of dutifulness, which is kindness to the parents. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good.
The questioner:
If the father has many dependents who have no income except this son, and he has income, how do you see our guidance? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
The matter does not differ from what was mentioned before. He may take from his son to the extent that the son is not harmed, by leaving the son what secures his needs and provides for his studies and their requirements.Bulugh al-Maram 7:171
The presenter:
Yes, may Allah reward you with good.
Shaykh Salih, if you would be so kind, some fathers forget this issue; they forget that the son has needs and that he wants to support himself. And some sons, on the other hand, forget that the father spends on them and provides for them, as you mentioned. We would love it if you would be kind enough to give guidance to both parties. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
Yes, the guidance for both parties is that each of them must be moderate. If the father is providing for his son and meeting his needs, as we mentioned, he may take from the son’s money. The second case is if the son has surplus money beyond his needs; may the father take from him, especially if the father is in need of it? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “You and your wealth belong to your father.”
So the father has no right to be stingy with his son, and the son has no right to withhold dutifulness toward his father and kindness to his father in any form of kindness. This includes giving him what he has in abundance and what he uses to pay off his debts, if he has any, and what he needs for the maintenance of his household. This is part of dutifulness, which is kindness to the parents. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good.
The questioner:
If the father has many dependents who have no income except this son, and he has income, how do you see our guidance? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
The matter does not differ from what was mentioned before. He may take from his son to the extent that the son is not harmed, by leaving the son what secures his needs and provides for his studies and their requirements.
(ﷺ) said: "There should neither be harming (of others without cause), nor reciprocating harm (between two parties)."
صلى الله عليه وسلم لا ضرر ولا ضرار،The presenter:
Yes, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، ما توجيهكم للآب الذي ينسى أن ابنه يريد أن يوكن نفسه وللابن الذي ينسى أن والده يصرف وينفق عليه؟ — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.