Is refusing a suitor who is negligent in prayer and accepting one chosen by the family considered undutifulness to the parents?
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Question:
The questioner says that she is a young woman to whom a man of good character and religion proposed, but her family does not want him and wants to marry her to another man who is negligent in performing the prayers and does not pray with the congregation. So, if she refuses this suitor who is negligent in performing the prayer, is that considered undutifulness to her parents?
Answer:
No, it is not considered undutifulness to her parents. The right of choice is hers. It is not permissible for her parents to force her to marry a man she does not approve of in his religion, his trustworthiness, or his character. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1084Da'if (Darussalam) [Al-Anfal 8:73].
So, if a man of trustworthiness and religion proposes to a woman and she is pleased with him, it is obligatory for her guardian to marry her to him. As for preventing her, that is 'udhl (preventing a woman from marriage). This is the 'udhl that is forbidden. The father must fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and not subject his ward to his own desire. Rather, he should look at her benefit and her agreement with a suitable, righteous man and marry her to him.
The questioner says that she is a young woman to whom a man of good character and religion proposed, but her family does not want him and wants to marry her to another man who is negligent in performing the prayers and does not pray with the congregation. So, if she refuses this suitor who is negligent in performing the prayer, is that considered undutifulness to her parents?
Answer:
No, it is not considered undutifulness to her parents. The right of choice is hers. It is not permissible for her parents to force her to marry a man she does not approve of in his religion, his trustworthiness, or his character. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him.
إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوهIf you do not do so, there will be fitnah on earth and great corruption.
إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوهُ تَكُن فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَفَسَادٌ كَبِيرٌSo, if a man of trustworthiness and religion proposes to a woman and she is pleased with him, it is obligatory for her guardian to marry her to him. As for preventing her, that is 'udhl (preventing a woman from marriage). This is the 'udhl that is forbidden. The father must fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and not subject his ward to his own desire. Rather, he should look at her benefit and her agreement with a suitable, righteous man and marry her to him.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، هل رفض الخاطب المتهاون في الصلاة ويقبله الأهل يعد عقوقا للوالدين؟ للشيخ الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.