What is the ruling on preparing food for the family of the deceased and eating from it?

The questioner : This questioner asks: How is food prepared for the family of the deceased? And is it permissible for their relatives to eat with them?

The Shaykh : Regarding preparing food for the family of the deceased: if the family is occupied due to the calamity and distracted from preparing food for themselves, it is recommended (mustahabb) for one who learns of their calamity to send them food. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when the news of the death of Ja'far ibn Abi Talib reached him: . The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) statement, "for they have been visited by something that occupies them," indicates that this is not recommended in an absolute sense, but rather it is recommended when the family of the deceased is occupied and unable to prepare food.
As for when the matter is customary, as is known in our time now, it is not prescribed to send them food, because the ruling follows its cause in existence and absence. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far," did he say it because a member of his family had died? No, he did not say that. He said, "For something has come to them that occupies them." Accordingly, if there is no occupation, there is no food. No.
If food is prepared and sent to the family of the deceased in the prescribed manner, they may eat from it. If one of their relatives is with them, he may eat with them. As for inviting people to it, this is a type of wailing. For this reason, it is disliked for the family of the deceased to prepare food and invite people to it. By this, we know, or by this it is known, that what some Muslims do today when one of them dies—preparing food, coffee, or tea and gathering people to it—this is considered wailing and a religious innovation (bid'ah). Yes.