The Ruling on Gathering for Condolences and Preparing Food for the Family of the Deceased
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Question:
The questioner says: There is a custom among some tribes where, when a person dies, they hold a mourning gathering for three days. People they know come to them every day with prepared sacrifices for lunch and dinner. They gather and talk, and most of their talk is about worldly matters. The question is: Is this gathering the one that is prohibited, as in the hadith of Jarir: "We used to consider a gatheringSunan Ibn Majah 1612Da’if (Darussalam)?" We ask for a detailed explanation. May Allah reward you.
Answer:
This is clear from the statement of Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him): This is the reality of these gatherings they call for condolences. There is no need for these matters, these heavy expenses, the disruption of work, and the disruption of seeking livelihood.
Death occupies people by the hour and by the minute. If for every deceased person they were to hold this condolence gathering, people’s work and interests would be disrupted. This is one aspect. The second aspect is that Allah has not sent down any authority for this.
The Companions did not do this, as one of them, Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him), said: We considered, meaning the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him),Sunan Ibn Majah 1612Da’if (Darussalam). This is a report of the reality of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them). This has no basis. Condolence is prescribed, and it is consoling the deceased.
By saying, “May Allah improve your consolation, strengthen you in your affliction, and forgive your deceased.” If you meet him anywhere—in the mosque, in the market, in the store, in the office—or you call him on the phone today, since calling is easy, you call him, console him, comfort him, and pray for the deceased. This is a good thing. But organizing and gathering for days, bringing slaughtered animals and food, all of this has no basis in the religion of Islam. Rather, it is a burden, and it may develop into eulogizing, grief, and wailing over the deceased. Yes.
The questioner says: There is a custom among some tribes where, when a person dies, they hold a mourning gathering for three days. People they know come to them every day with prepared sacrifices for lunch and dinner. They gather and talk, and most of their talk is about worldly matters. The question is: Is this gathering the one that is prohibited, as in the hadith of Jarir: "We used to consider a gathering
with the family of the deceased and preparing food was a form of wailing
أَهْلِ الْمَيِّتِ وَصَنْعَةَ الطَّعَامِ مِنَ النِّيَاحَةِAnswer:
This is clear from the statement of Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him):
We considered gathering at the house of the deceased and preparing food for them to be part of wailing
كنا نعد الاجتماع إلى أهل الميت وصنعة الطعام لهم من النياحDeath occupies people by the hour and by the minute. If for every deceased person they were to hold this condolence gathering, people’s work and interests would be disrupted. This is one aspect. The second aspect is that Allah has not sent down any authority for this.
The Companions did not do this, as one of them, Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him), said: We considered, meaning the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him),
We used to think that gathering with the family of the deceased and preparing food was
كنا نعد الاجتماع إلى أهل الميت وصنعة الطعام منBy saying, “May Allah improve your consolation, strengthen you in your affliction, and forgive your deceased.” If you meet him anywhere—in the mosque, in the market, in the store, in the office—or you call him on the phone today, since calling is easy, you call him, console him, comfort him, and pray for the deceased. This is a good thing. But organizing and gathering for days, bringing slaughtered animals and food, all of this has no basis in the religion of Islam. Rather, it is a burden, and it may develop into eulogizing, grief, and wailing over the deceased. Yes.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، محاضرات في العقيدة والدعوة-017-التأصيل العلمي عند السلف الصالح|صالح الفوزان|كبار العلماء — youtube.com (1:01:19)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.