Advice against forcing sons to marry relatives
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : Peace be upon you. And upon you be peace. I married my cousin. Yes, that is correct. Four years ago. But not because I wanted to, but out of obedience to my father. And to this day, there has been no compatibility between us; there is no understanding, and she is now in a suspended state. I do not know whether I should divorce her or be patient with her, perhaps understanding or something will happen? This is what I advise you to do, may Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : First, I advise every person against forcing a son to marry someone he does not want, for this leads to negative results. It has become well-known among some tribes that a man must marry his cousin’s daughter, and that if he proposes to her, they will not marry her to him even if he is the best of suitors, because she is for her cousin. This is wrong. A wife is not a commodity that a person can dispose of as he pleases. Rather, she is a trust, and she has the freedom to choose whom she wants from husbands, except that she chooses one whose religion is not acceptable.
The questioner : Yes, yes.
The Shaykh : Likewise, the man is free to choose whom he wants to marry. So it is not permissible for anyone to force him to marry someone he does not want. And these bad customs among some tribes must be eradicated, and we must return to the core of the Shari'ah in this matter. And this indicates, meaning, it indicates that this bad custom, that this bad custom, has the result that happened to you, where your father forced you, or nearly forced you, to marry your cousin’s daughter, and the result was what you mentioned. Now, you will not remain with her in this state. This is not in your interest nor in her interest. And if Allah the Exalted wills and you divorce her, this will be more severe for your uncle than if you had not married her at all.
The questioner : He has passed away.
The Shaykh : Or upon her brothers or relatives. The important thing is that I do not see you remaining with her in this state. If it is possible for you to remain with her and be patient, perhaps Allah will improve the matter afterwards, then that is what is required. Otherwise, divorce her and trust in the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:[An-Nisa 4:130].
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : First, I advise every person against forcing a son to marry someone he does not want, for this leads to negative results. It has become well-known among some tribes that a man must marry his cousin’s daughter, and that if he proposes to her, they will not marry her to him even if he is the best of suitors, because she is for her cousin. This is wrong. A wife is not a commodity that a person can dispose of as he pleases. Rather, she is a trust, and she has the freedom to choose whom she wants from husbands, except that she chooses one whose religion is not acceptable.
The questioner : Yes, yes.
The Shaykh : Likewise, the man is free to choose whom he wants to marry. So it is not permissible for anyone to force him to marry someone he does not want. And these bad customs among some tribes must be eradicated, and we must return to the core of the Shari'ah in this matter. And this indicates, meaning, it indicates that this bad custom, that this bad custom, has the result that happened to you, where your father forced you, or nearly forced you, to marry your cousin’s daughter, and the result was what you mentioned. Now, you will not remain with her in this state. This is not in your interest nor in her interest. And if Allah the Exalted wills and you divorce her, this will be more severe for your uncle than if you had not married her at all.
The questioner : He has passed away.
The Shaykh : Or upon her brothers or relatives. The important thing is that I do not see you remaining with her in this state. If it is possible for you to remain with her and be patient, perhaps Allah will improve the matter afterwards, then that is what is required. Otherwise, divorce her and trust in the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:
But if they separate [by divorce], Allah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance
وَإِن يَتَفَرَّقَا يُغْنِ اللَّهُ كُلًّا مِّن سَعَتِهِThe presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، 1947- نصيحة لعدم اجبار الأبناء على الزواج من الأقرباء/سؤال على الهاتف 📞 /ابن عثيمين — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.