What is the standard for the suitor seeing his fiancée, and is he permitted to speak with her?

The questioner : Well, and it is a noble thing to bring the fiancée to her suitor. I mean, some people let her go down a little. I say, some people let the fiancée go down to the suitor and stay for a while, while others delay, for example, in a session at their place. I mean, people do not have a clear standard.

The Shaykh : No, the point is that the word "desire" remains. So as long as she is with her mahram (a relative one may not marry), there is nothing wrong with her staying. There is no blame on him for looking at her once, twice, or three times. For this reason, the scholars said that he may repeat this several times, because he does not develop desire from the first look. Also, a person’s first look is not an intentional look.

The questioner : But I do not know if this person is sincere or if he is building on a real card?

The Shaykh : Glory to Allah the Great. This is between him and his Lord. He says, the condition is that you have no desire and you are safe from the arousal of desire. No one, if Allah wills, will propose to a person saying, "I only look at my women." Never. It is only for the sake of desire. But there is no doubt that if a person looks the first time, it is never a measure. It is not a measure, neither for proceeding nor for backing away. Yes, indeed. The matter is not light. This matter is about the future, children, and descendants.

The questioner : What does the conversation, for example, benefit?

The Shaykh : By Allah, my brother, as long as the default is that it is permissible, except for the saying without submission and in the presence of her mahram, I do not see any harm in it.

The questioner : Hot, I mean, just.

The Shaykh : I do not declare anything in the Sunnah, but our default, the default is. The permissibility of a woman speaking with a man if fitnah (trial, discord or temptation) is safe. Here we stipulate that he does not look at her except when fitnah is safe. As for his fiancée speaking with him on the telephone, this is very dangerous. I mean, because she imagines she is his fiancée and he imagines she is his fiancée, so it is not unlikely that there will be conversation between them that arouses desire. As has happened, this has happened. I mean, some people ask sometimes, saying that he speaks with his fiancée and that his desire is aroused, and it may happen that something comes out of him. Yes, this has no need. But her speaking with him in the presence of her wali (the bride's guardian), she speaks with him, especially if the purpose of that is to know the extent of her intelligence or her voice, for example, or something similar, there is nothing in this.