Dividing time between wives?

The questioner : Honorable Shaykh, a man has more than one wife and wants to know the rulings on dividing time between wives, so that he does not arrive on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body leaning. The same applies in cases of travel, residence, financial maintenance, and gifts. Please issue a ruling for us, may Allah reward you.

The Shaykh : Yes. It is obligatory for a person who has more than one wife to be just between them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) There is no doubt that this is a warning, and a warning is not issued except for the abandonment of an obligation. Therefore, it is obligatory for a person to be just, but justice is required in what he controls. As for what he does not control, Allah says . What is it that he does not control? Love. That is, it is not obligatory for him to be just between them in love, because it is a matter that a person cannot control. It is obligatory for him to be just between them in financial maintenance, giving each one what she needs. It is not permissible for him to buy fine fabric for one and fabric of a lower quality for the second. He is required to be just between them in sleeping arrangements, so it is not permissible for him to sleep with one for two days and with the other for one day. Rather, he must allocate one day for this one and one day for that one, unless one of them waives her right, in which case there is no harm. An example of this is if he has three wives, one of whom is elderly, and she says, "I have given my day to you, so allocate it to one of your other wives," or she says—and this is better—"I have given my day to so-and-so," specifying her, so that the husband does not lean toward one of the other two wives. The evidence for this is that Sawdah bint Zam'ah, the Mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her), gave her day to 'A'ishah bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her and her father). So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would allocate to 'A'ishah her day and Sawdah's day. In this situation, if one of the wives wants to give her day to one of the other two, should she prefer the one she loves or the one the husband loves? Yes.
Yes, what she should do is prefer the one the husband loves, and say, "My day is for so-and-so, the one he loves," just as Sawdah gave her day to 'A'ishah. It is well known that the woman the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) loved most was 'A'ishah. 'A'ishah was the most beloved of his wives to him, and Abu Bakr was the most beloved of his Companions to him. He (peace and blessings be upon him) even declared from the pulpit For this reason, Sawdah (may Allah be pleased with her) chose to give her day to 'A'ishah bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq. Likewise, in travel, he must be just between them. How does he be just between them? Either he travels with all of them if possible, or he draws lots between them, and he travels with the one whose lot is drawn. The evidence for this is that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to travel, he would draw lots among his wives and travel with the one whose lot was drawn.

The questioner : Okay, if he travels with her, Shaykh. Does he divide the days for the others or not?

The Shaykh : If he travels with her, that is her share. He does not make up the days for the others. Yes, he does not make up the days for the others.